Thread
by FancyPhalanges
Summary: Takes place after 9x23, the on-call room scene with Lauren and Arizona. Callie finds out what has happened, but every doctor is locked in the hospital to help with the damage of the storm until further notice. Will the couple be able to make it through this shift? Or will they lose everything they have worked to become? "Find a thread to pull, and we can watch it unravel."
1. Chapter 1

The floors of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital shook as thunder rocked the sky, and the sounds of disasters mixed with the ringing of a misplaced cell phone. It sat on the floor of the on call room, ringing out in an attempt to pierce the air and drown out the sounds of two blonde women together on a cot.

It was minutes later when their breathing finally slowed. Arizona gazed at the woman with her, and all she could do was keep attempting to convince herself that it _was _okay to lose control. But the body next to her, with a bright smile, blonde hair, and porcelain skin, felt alien to her. She had tried and failed to reach for the curves of the woman she loved, instead catching air in her palms.

And her eyes had stayed shut almost the whole time, but when she had made the mistake of opening them after the other woman's fingers had slipped inside of her, the hazel eyes that gazed back at her with such lust and emotion made her gasp. She couldn't help but desperately wish that they had been the deep, loving brown ones that she saw every night before she went to sleep and every morning as she awoke. But it was her own mistake. It was her own fault that she was in the situation. And she knew that, as much as she wanted to blame it on a certain visiting surgeon.

A soft voice pushed her away from her wandering thoughts and back to the uncomfortable on-call bed she laid on. "Are you okay?" Lauren asked, and Arizona winced. She wished the other woman hadn't sounded so caring, and more than anything she hated herself for liking that. Callie was caring. Callie was all of the things Lauren was, and more. Yet Arizona couldn't shake the feeling that Lauren was someone she could have loved, in any other circumstances. Instead, her wife was somewhere in the vicinity, probably wondering if she was okay.

The blonde knew that she wasn't, but it had nothing to do with the heavy storm that matched the one going on in her head. And suddenly she was angry. Furiously, uncontrollably angry, that Lauren was there with her. Her head whipped around to glare at the doctor. "In what world would this ever be okay? I married Callie because I loved her. I promised her everything and have broken almost every single one of my vows just now, because _you _told me it was okay to lose control. Sleeping with my colleague is not the same thing as letting someone close on my surgery, Lauren." The name slipped off Arizona's tongue like hot coals.

"Control is something I've worked to have. When we moved around every year because of my dad, I had no control. When my brother died fighting for our country, I had no control. When I lost my leg in the plane crash, I had no control. I am not a control freak because I want everything to be perfect. I'm a control freak because I can hold the most important things together, like what's left of my family. Callie was my family…. _Is _my family," she corrected. "Sophia…my daughter…what's she going to think when she grows up in one of the many families who couldn't stay together? We're supposed to be better people than that. I'm supposed to be a better person than that. I was raised to be a good man in a storm, but now…" Her rambling came to a sudden halt. "This was a mistake."

Arizona stood up with tears in her eyes, forcing her scrubs back on and pocketing the phone she'd yet to check. "It was a pleasure working with you, Dr. Boswell," she forced out, and turned on her heels, leaving a stunned woman in her path.

Xx

"Dr. Robbins, we paged you an hour ago, there's a boy in here-"a nurse called out.

"Is it an emergency?"

"…What?"

"Do you need me right now? Is it so pressing that he'll die in the next few minutes if I don't get there? Because I'm pretty sure if it was, he'd be dead by now. So page me again in another hour and if I don't respond, find someone else," Arizona snapped. Her pink and white sneakers squeaked against the linoleum as she raced down the hallways, searching frantically for her wife to no prevail. "Come on Callie…you have to be around here somewhere…" she whispered to herself.

Alex watched his boss skid by him, wondering briefly what had happened before shrugging and continuing on towards the Ped's unit, until he felt a rough tug against his scrubs sleeve. He turned, and Arizona was suddenly there in front of him, looking slightly crazed as her eyes darted back and forth. "Karev. Have you seen Calliope?" she choked out, running a hand through her wild hair.

After a pause, Alex chose wisely not to ask any questions. "Yeah, uh… I think I saw her setting up two hospital beds together. She told me to tell you that she'd decided that you two would stay here until the worse of the storm was over.." his words were cut off by a quick and quiet thank you, and suddenly Arizona was gone, racing up the stairs instead of impatiently waiting for the elevator.

Too soon, blue eyes caught sight of black hair moving around the empty room Karev had mentioned, and as she saw her wife since the first time since…the on call room, she realized she had no idea what she could possibly say to her to make it better. The first breath she had taken since reaching her destination caught in her throat, and the pain she had known would come shot through her, making her clench her stomach.

_You have to do this, Arizona. You have to tell her. The last thing you can be is a liar. _The woman's own thoughts calmed her enough to allow her to find the handle to the door.

Callie looked up as she heard the click of the doorknob, and smiled widely. "Hey! There you are. Look, I set up two beds for us so we can sleep here but still sleep together, because I know we're here because we're going to get a _ton_ of surgical flow but if we get time off you won't be able to sleep without me, since you're afraid of the lightening, and…." The brunette's mind suddenly registered the look that she was receiving. "Arizona? Are you okay?"

Arizona almost nodded, but it turned into a shake of the head at the last second, and she dropped down to the floor after she shut the door behind her. "Calliope…" Her voice broke, and it tore at Callie's heart.

"Did something happen? Did a doctor get hurt? Oh god, are you… you're not bleeding or anything, right?" Callie reached at Arizona, making quick work of checking her skin for any abrasions. When she didn't find anything, she gasped. "Is it Sofia?" The blonde's arm pulled away from the touch. "I'm…not injured," she chose her words wisely. "And Sofia's okay."

"Then why do you look like you just got in a wrestling match with a bear?" Her voice took on a joking tone that just made Arizona sigh, so she let her body slide down next to her wife, and wrapped an arm around her shaking shoulders. "Is it the storm? We can stay here together until you get paged.." Callie mumbled, but Arizona's hand just grabbed the other woman's, connecting the shades of skin that felt more right than anything she had experienced with Lauren. She had ruined what they had, after promising Callie that she'd never hurt her again, and somehow, she already felt deep in her bones that there was no way Callie would forgive her. But she still deserved to know. And so the words that spilled from Arizona's still swollen lips proceeded to cut through the stale air of the bare room.

"I slept with Lauren."


	2. Chapter 2

"Callie…"

It'd been almost ten minutes, and Arizona's wife had yet to speak a word. Instead, she sat silently beside her, eyes wide but no other expression of her emotions even glancing across her face. Arizona knew she had work to do, patients to save that had gotten injured from the start of the storm, but as each buzz of her pager went off, she just rested her head against the wall behind her.

After the fifth buzz of the pager, however, she found that she couldn't avoid it any longer, and picked up her phone to send a message to Karev to take in all of her cases and to call her only if something couldn't be handled by any of the other staff.

The "sending" bar had just filled completely when Arizona finally felt a shift next to her. She sat up in a hurry, preparing to grab at Callie if she tried to leave the room. But instead the hand reached out to her, intertwining their fingers. Arizona took a deep breath, but instead of feeling relieved she only felt a deeper pain shoot through her chest- the hand she was holding onto shook, and she realized suddenly that they'd both been shaking, each for a different reason.

Callie was laughing.

"Um…" Arizona licked her lips, not sure of what to say. "…Could you maybe clue me in a little bit?" Her voice was a confused whisper, and finally Callie made eye contact. Her chocolate eyes were deeper than she'd ever seen them, and she felt like she was drowning in them, swimming further from the surface to reach what was hidden beneath, but running out of air just before her fingertips touched the cold floor. Her breathing became ragged, in time with the rain pattering against the window.

Her question seemed to throw Callie off, making her sigh and stop the laughter to stare at her. "Arizona… you don't think I didn't know this would happen?" That definitely wasn't the answer the blonde had been looking for, and she gasped.

"We're married, Callie, you can't just assume…" Arizona stopped herself, knowing she had no idea what to possibly say next. It had happened; she couldn't just tell her wife that she wasn't allowed to think that it would.

Callie picked up on what she had begun to say, though, only proceeding to lose any remnants of the laughter when she frowned. "I can't what, Arizona? Assume you were going to cheat? What was I supposed to assume then? That you'd get run over by a bus, or leave because of some stupid argument about my sexuality, or leave me for another country that has a hundred dying babies you can save…maybe something new this time?" She laughed bitterly and released the hand she'd been holding onto. "I've been here before. I've been on the receiving end of this conversation more times than you can _begin _to imagine."

The brunette caught the look that was being given to her- a guilty grimace reached across Arizona's face. "It's like there's something about me that makes people they think they can screw with me. Maybe it's because I love too much, or too hard. I pushed you a lot this year, Arizona. I've pushed you to go through physical therapy and come back to your job with _one leg _and a lot less pride than you came here with. I've pushed you to not forget that I exist and to have sex with your _wife _who'd been waiting around for five months for you to finally show up in her life again, but I thought I had you back." Callie tilted her head, pondering that. "Maybe I do have you back. The Arizona I know always runs anyway. You tell me not to run, and then you sprint like your life depends on it. With one leg. One _damn _leg."

Arizona released the breath she had been holding in and tears she told herself she hadn't wanted began to appear. "You didn't push too hard, Calliope. You pushed just enough. And I know it's too early to ask for any kind of forgiveness, but you need to know that this has snapped me out of it, for good. I was….I was in the bed with her…" Callie shook her head to tell her to stop, but Arizona pushed through. "…and I realized that you're it, for me. You should have been it. I don't want anyone else to see the worst parts of me…" she gestured to her prosthetic that was sticking out from her pants which had started riding up at the bottom.

"So what, I get the worst parts of you?" Callie spit out, shocking her wife. "Everyone else gets to see the perfect, loving, blue-eyed woman who practically eats butterflies for breakfast? And I get the one who still turns away from me at night, and postpones our _life _together because of the stupid leg? I don't want the leg either, Arizona. I don't want some bars of metal where my wife should be, but I've let it go because it's not your fault it happened and it's not my fault you picked me to marry, which was obviously the worst decision you made considering sleeping with someone else seemed like such a great idea."

"Calliope, you know…you know I've been trying so hard, and she was there and…" Arizona fiddled with her fingers uncomfortably.

"And I wasn't? One of the first times I've been away from you in months because I have to do my _job, _and the best idea is to fuck someone else. It took you _five months _to be with me like that. So don't try to talk your way out of this, just… call your lawyer in the morning to get the papers." Callie stood up, holding back the tears that mostly still managed to make their way down her reddened cheeks. When Arizona still said nothing out of shock for the words that had escaped Callie's mouth, she just nodded her head in understanding and walked out, muttering something about patients that were waiting for her.

_Author's Note:_

_I know, I know. This is even shorter than the last chapter, but this cliffhanger is important (You'll see why soon) and I have an AP test coming up in literally two days so I wanted to make sure you have SOMETHING to read until I can update a longer (and better) chapter 3. I know what's coming next for Callie and Arizona in this story, but I actually need your advice for the next chapter. Personally, I know that any extended dialogue between characters that aren't Callie and Arizona can get pretty boring, even if it does advance the plot. So before the upcoming scene I have planned, I need a vote from each of you, please: __**Would you like Callie and/or Arizona to talk to someone else about what has happened, or just skip straight to the next time they'll spend together?**__ Remember that they're trapped in the hospital, so they won't really be going anywhere. ;) Any other general reviews and feedback would be greatly appreciated, as I'm not completely sure how well I'm actually doing. _

_Happy Grey's finale, and try not to cry too much. _

_-K. _


	3. Chapter 3

_Quick Author's Note: If you're anything like me, you're probably still upset about the season finale. I wasn't planning on updating so soon, but I needed an outlet and I know that you guys probably need some happy(ish) Calzona action. Now keep in mind that my take on Arizona's reasons for cheating is completely different than in the show. I wanted it to be that way, so if you guys want me to continue writing this, it'll be better that it pulls away from the real storyline a bit, without being too extremely AU. I hope you like this chapter- like I said, it's a little bit happier than TV-Calzona at the moment. Remember, reviews are always fantastic and they keep me very, very motivated:) *un-beta'd version*_

Happy readings, 

_-K. _

Arizona barely had time to process what had happened before her pager went off once again, and with a sigh she picked it up to see "911" flashing across the screen. No longer having any reason to hand off her patients to Karev, she took off towards the pediatric wing.

The patient she'd been paged for was a sixteen year old girl who had been driving her mother to the hospital anyways due to a heart attack. The roads had been beyond slippery and when a bus raced by them, she'd swerved and slid off the side of the road. Both patients seemed to be stable now, though, and Arizona began to search for the reason why she had been paged until Alex called out from behind her. "It's the leg."

When Arizona removed the sheet covering the wound she saw blood pouring out from beneath the gauze pads that they'd tried and failed to use to stop the bleeding. It'd be a fast surgery, though- they just were in need of the OR for the blood transfusion while they worked. "Prep her for surgery in OR 2, if it's open. Shouldn't be too difficult but…" Her heart seemed to stop as she noticed something that she'd missed while looking the patient over. A bone was cutting through the girl's leg and had blended in with the edges of white gauze pads until she'd shifted. "Damn it…" Arizona quickly flipped open the patient chart that was handed to her.

"Okay…Victoria, right?" The teenager nodded her head, obviously in pain despite the medicine they had given her. "You'll be okay, I don't want you to freak out and I understand this may be scary for you but you have to listen." Another pained nod was sent her way. "Your mom is fine, but we need to get you into surgery just to fix your broken leg. It's an easy fix, I promise. Dr. Torres is the best and she'll be assisting me as soon as I page her down here." With a final weak thumbs up from the patient, she closed the chart and placed it on the table. "Okay, you can prep her now." The nurses regained movement, each racing around to get what was needed. "And…page someone for this break. _Not _Dr. Torres," she barked.

Feeling confident that they'd handle everything for her up until the actual surgery, Arizona stepped out of the room and leaned against the wall as a heavy weight seemed to drop down onto her shoulders She began to think about Callie again, and hoped she wouldn't have to see her until the storm died down. Arizona knew that the woman had been called in before, part of the reason why she'd left the room, and she hoped that she'd been dragged into some difficult surgery that would take hours. Still, Arizona found herself wondering how she could possibly work with the woman who hadn't even tried to hear her out before telling her she wanted a divorce- even in the future.

Xx

Callie's pager went off just as she repositioned another leg, and when the screaming finally stopped, she checked the source of the buzzing to see it was from one of the OR's. She was glad she had her escape for the day; surgery focused her and would calm her down enough for the next face off. She wasn't really in the mood to deal with another one of her failed relationship, but at least for the sake of their daughter, she'd have to do it sometime…just not now.

Her own last words to Arizona about a divorce had haunted her since they'd left her lips, but she figured she'd have to say it eventually, or she'd be the one watching Arizona leaving _her. _At least this way, Callie could still walk away with the smallest bit of pride in the fact that she'd finally taken the problem of her dead-end relationships into her own hands.

When Callie reached the OR hallway, a nurse was already standing outside one of the rooms, and she found herself being immediately rushed in. She listened only enough to pick up the important facts as she scrubbed- "female…broken leg…brought in about an hour ago…" – and when she was finished, she held her hand up, not in the mood to listen to any more details.

"I've got it, let's go." Another nurse slid Callie's gloves into place when the woman practically strutted in the room, completely prepared to drown herself in hours of blood and bones.

And then she saw a flash of blonde hair, and it was all she could do to keep the string of curses from slipping out.

Xx

Arizona had been tightening her scrub cap when a loud, "What the hell?" pierced through the air.

Arizona's heart stopped. "I told you not to page her," she whispered roughly to the nurse that had been with her in the patient's room.

"No one else was available, Dr. Robbins…"

She barely had time to turn around after that response before a hand was grabbing at her wrist. "Why did you send me down here?"

"Calliope…" Arizona stumbled over her own words, and the grip just tightened, causing blue eyes to flash in fear.

"Shut up! Did you _really _think that paging your _wife_ was the best idea less than an hour after telling her you slept with someone else? I can't believe you!" Callie let out a frustrated grunt and continued. "For months I've tried to understand why you're trying to ruin my life along with your own. I didn't think it could get any worse than the woman I married hating my guts, and then we were all fine and dandy and you tricked me into thinking that maybe you were done making me miserable. And now I'm going to be stuck in a room with you for the next hour because you were selfish enough to call the best Ortho surgeon in on your case instead of paging someone who may actually want to work in your OR."

Arizona's wrist was now turning red as she struggled against Callie's hold, which did nothing to stop the words Callie had been holding back. "Do your own damn surgeries, I want nothing to do with you now. A-and don't even dare open your mouth to talk about professionalism," she growled, mistaking the way the blonde's mouth opened as an attempt to defend herself. "Talk to me about work ethics when you stop fucking another surgeon in the on-call rooms." Callie's fingernails had begun to dig into pale skin through the surgical gloves without notice, but once it broke skin, Arizona yelped at the pain and then instantly regretted it, flinching away as whitened fingers released her.

Callie had suddenly realized what she had done, and hearing the sound of pain coming from the blonde was enough to make her heart drop to the floor. Brown eyes looked down to see blood releasing itself from each scratch, and then shot back up to gaze at Arizona when tears suddenly appeared to block her vision. "I…oh my god, Arizona. I'm sorry…I'm sorry." Despite her apologizes, the blue eyes were still trapped behind closed eyelids as she waited for something to happen- she deserved more than what Callie was already doing to her.

But after a few seconds, nothing came, and Arizona slowly opened her eyes…to see nothing. Callie was gone from her view, and the only people she could see were the scrub nurses who were staring at her nervously until they noticed she was looking back. Their fleeting glances told her that Callie had been even louder than she'd felt her to be.

Shaken but still focused on her patient, Arizona stepped up to the table where the Victoria was laying, figuring she'd clean up the wound, fix the source of the bleeding, and run out of there before Callie was paged back in. After most of the blood was cleaned up from the leg, she spoke in a shaky voice, "Ten blade, please." The nurses all paused, not sure what to do, until Arizona spoke again, this time stronger and with more authority. "Ten blade, _please._" The nurse from earlier finally responded, and the blonde began to work her way through the mess.

Less than ten minutes later, everything was prepared for Callie. Arizona told everyone that Callie would be back (on her own) soon, and since no one dared to question it, she just made sure that the page was all set to go before taking off her gloves.

She figured she'd be gone by the time Callie had arrived, but when she stepped outside into the scrub room she heard a buzz and looked to the ground. There sat her wife with the pager in her hand, staring at it blankly. Arizona sighed, and with no other choice, stood in front of her. "Hey."

Callie didn't look up, but began to apologize again until Arizona cut her off. "You didn't hurt me any more than I deserved, and I understand that it wasn't on purpose. And the girl in there needs you." _I need you_, she couldn't help thinking. "It's an easy fix, for you." Arizona began to wash her hands when she heard words from behind her.

"If I'm so good at fixing things-" Callie broke down before she could finish her sentence, but Arizona knew exactly what she was going to say. The blonde dried her hands quickly and rushed back to where she had been before, using the basin to help herself onto the ground in front of Callie.

"Calliope Torres, you do not get to blame this one on yourself. I've blamed you enough for everything, especially for…for cutting off my leg when I would have died if you hadn't… but none of this is your fault. You just happened to be there, right in front of me when I needed someone to blame for this terrible thing that happened to me…to both of us. But you saved me. And since the first night we…spent together since the plane crash, when you were so caring and loving and things that I didn't know how to handle…I've felt like I don't deserve you." Arizona used the long sleeve underneath her scrub top to gently wipe away the tears on Callie's face.

"And of course, I, being the one who ruins beautiful things like this…messed up again. I just wanted to feel like less of a disappointment to someone for once. Over and over again, I've disappointed you. And Lauren…all she knew was the strong, happy side of me and I tell myself that it's better that way. But it's not, Calliope, it really isn't. And I don't want anyone else to love me but you, no matter how little I deserve it." Callie finally looked up, but Arizona wasn't finished.

"And now you want a divorce. Which I totally understand. I wouldn't want to be with me either. Don't feel like you're obligated to do anything. You've fixed every part of me that made me a better person. Now go fix her," Arizona finished, trying to stay strong as she pointed towards the OR.

Callie _still _looked confused, though. "…I don't understand."

Arizona's eyebrows scrunched together. "Don't understand what? I'm giving you an out."

The black-haired woman glowered. "So you _do _want a divorce."

"_What?_ God, no, Callie, you're the one who said to call the lawyer." Now both of the woman shared a look of confusion.

Finally it hit Callie. "Oh. I just assumed… When George cheated on me, we got divorced. I…I thought that's how it'd be with you, too."

Arizona stared. "I don't want to _divorce _you, Calliope. I just don't want to ask for another chance because after three of those I think I don't really have the right."

"Oh," Callie repeated. "Ohhh…kay." She wasn't completely sure what to think about the whole situation, to be honest. "Look, I need time, alright? But that thing about divorce? It's off the table, for now. At least until we get more time to talk." She stood up gracefully, helping Arizona to her feet as the blonde balanced carefully on the prosthetic.

They found themselves only inches apart, and Arizona turned her head to avoid an awkward situation. "Go fix the easy things first. Everything else will have to wait until after the storm." Her words drifted back to Callie, who, despite everything, still felt love for her wife blossoming in her chest. It was painful, sure, but being a surgeon mean that to her, you can only complain about the pain once you start bleeding out. And since she was lucky enough to be living in this moment now, she decided that she wouldn't leave anything to regret.

Suddenly, Arizona felt a kiss against her hair that was facing Callie- the soft, barely-there touch was like a whisper of a promise to attempt to work things out. A smile threatened to stretch across her face, making her feel almost hopeful that she could save the remnants of what she'd destroyed. "Meet me in the spare room when you're done and we can talk more." She yawned, "…Or maybe just sleep."

Both of the women knew that things were changing, but neither of them believed that to be enough to give up everything they had, just yet.


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N_**_: I know it's been so long. I'm sorry. Don't hate me. Anyways, I won't make this too long, but I have two quick things to say. First I really want to thank _**_DianeB_**_, whom I found on my search for a beta reader. Although she is busy and didn't get the chance to read this new chapter before I posted it, I am grateful for the help she has given so far. Now, she may or may not actually work as my beta reader, because she seems to be a very busy person, so if any of you are betas and would be interested in working on this story (or if you know someone who may be) just PM me :) _

_I know this chapter is short, and I apologize in advance. _

_Enjoy.  
-K._

_P.S. This chapter has been edited, so please stop bitching about it. Also, I have no clue if Callie started her internship before or after Bailey, despite all my research, so I've made her a year below. Just go with it. _

The storm raged on for hours, forming disasters just outside the doors of the hospital, which unfortunately left every single available surgeon, doctor, and nurse working beyond their capabilities to keep everything in control. Even when the thunder subsided, they kept on going, when volunteer firefighters worked to find others who had been caught in the storm and had been unable to be found during the disaster.

Callie fixed broken bone after broken bone with little time to think in between, which she refused to do anyways. Time was no longer based on seconds, but how many bones she had placed back where they should have been, and for the longest time, no one noticed the non-stop way in which she worked, barely even pausing to take a breath.

Alex was the first to ask, when he had been called in as a backup on another Peds/Ortho surgery. This time, the nurses had already spread the rumors of Arizona's fling, and thought better of it when they grabbed the pager to call a Peds specialist.

Karev awkwardly watched the wife of his boss as she worked at the bone, having finished his part of the work. He was impressed by the way she worked- everyone knew he hated doing textbook work, but even he could not deny the perfection in which every move was made. Which was why he was surprised when he noticed the two gloves she wore on each hand, and the lump on her ring finger. Arizona had explained to him a while back the reasons for pinning her own ring on her scrubs, and how Callie had come up with this idea apparently. He had pretended not to pay attention, but he remembered now. In fact, Callie seemed to only focus on the ring that had been slipped beneath the gloves.

Still, her work was flawless, and when Callie had icily asked him if he believed it was affecting her "abilities" after he'd asked her, Alex decided to back off.

Callie felt locked down in the hospital for the first time in years, always loving her job and using it as an escape, but now every turn in every hall reminded her of a moment with her...Arizona. So she couldn't be more relieved when Owen finally stopped her in her path.

"Take a break." He stood rigidly, stressed from the storm, but he spoke in a caring voice.

Callie let out a deep breath. "Okay, I'll be in my apartment if you need me-"

"What? No. You still can't leave, look outside."

Without bothering to look out the windows she responded, "Owen, I have to go home." _Keep yourself together, Callie._

"No doctor or nurse is leaving this hospital, I won't lose anyone else." There was an edge to his words. And it pissed Callie off.

"Who? Who do you not want to lose? Mark is already gone, and-and little Grey. Everyone wanted to leave this god forsaken hospital, Owen! We lost over half our staff when they walked out on us last time, and I...I stuck around. But I don't want to be here anymore, so let me leave." Callie clenched her jaw. Owen didn't make a move to get out of her way. "I'm taking my vacation time." The Ortho doctor pushed past her boss, rougher than she'd meant to, and he ended up with his back against a wall. Callie told herself she didn't care. She needed out...

"Doctor Torres." That voice. It cut through her bones, stopping her in her tracks.

"...Bailey..." Callie didn't dare turn around, instead staring at the polished white floors.

Unfortunately, the short woman stepped in front of her, blocking her view of the tiles with a gaze that had killed the interns back in Callie's amateur days, even though Callie was only a year behind. But Callie had never cracked, and Miranda Bailey ended up taking a strong liking to the woman. Now, she felt as if she had been transported back into her first few days, wanting so badly to break down but pushing herself to stand tall- but with one glance at her mentor's disappointed eyes, she broke down for what felt like the first time.

"Bailey, please...let me just go home. Let me take Sofia and go..."

"Are you losing it, Torres? This storm is the worst we've seen. You aren't walking out those doors." Bailey softened slightly. "If you think I'm risking losing you, you're really out of your mind... Since you're uh, the best Ortho surgeon and all." She muttered, trying to back track.

Callie stopped fighting for a moment, but although those words coming from someone so powerful usually made her heart swell, she found herself having to force a smile. Bailey saw this of course, and , attempting to get a grin out of the doctor, continued, "Don't you take it to the head. You might not be able to fit your ego in these ORs."

It took only that to let go. Bailey seemed horrified when Callie gripped onto her tightly, sobbing into the short black hair. "It hurts so much... I can't stay here... Just let me go. Please. Fucking move!" Callie thrashed out, knocking over a set of needles and the metal tray they were on crashed to the ground. "I need to get out! I quit. I quit. Just let me go..." Her heart seemed to pound against her rib cage as if looking for a way out of the body that was falling apart from the inside, out.

She didn't even realize when she was pulled into an empty break room with Owen's strong arms dragging her limp body to the couch. After a few uncomfortable shifts of his feet, he decided to leave, which made Bailey finally speak up. "Girl, what are you doing to yourself?"

Anger ripped through Callie. "You mean what did she do to me? I've never been this way. I was always the badass Ortho surgeon... And she came along and… and she did this! She gave me a baby and a life and I saved her life in return and this is what she fucking gives me. Why did I tell her I don't want a divorce? I don't need her. And Sofia is mine... She was never Arizona's anyways so I can just take her away...I can take her and move back to Miami and maybe my parents will be glad that I realized I've been sinning all this time. I can work...I can just move. Everyone wants me. I made cartilage out of Jello, god damn it! I am Calliope Torres. I keep things together and Arizona... She doesn't want that. She never wanted that. How was I so stupid?" Callie took a deep breath to continue, but the waiting General Surgeon cut her off.

"Look at you. All ready to get up and take a baby away from a woman who loves her as much as you do. Just because she slept with some other blonde surgeon who didn't feel like she needed to understand someone who just can't be understood."

"W-what? Wait... I understand her..." Callie stared at her ring.

"No you don't. You'll never understand that woman." Bailey chuckled. "You love her, sure, but if I've learned anything from that ass that left me, I'll tell you that a ring with a sparkly diamond doesn't make you get her." Bailey remembered her first husband and how naïve she had been to think that they'd work out even through all of their differences, but Tucker just never understood her job and why she had chosen it over him, why it affected her more than the idea of him leaving, because he had never experienced what it was like. She knew Callie and Arizona were stronger than they had ever been, but Arizona had cheated the same reason Tucker had left her- they could no longer emotionally connect. Fortunately for Callie, it seemed like a temporary experience, but she still needed to understand something that Arizona would never speak of.

"I'm lost..." Callie was now just staring at her mentor in confusion, wheels turning in her head.

"You cut off her leg, Torres! You. Cut. Off. Her. Leg. You did it to save her, but do you think she cares? Arizona Robbins is the most stubborn woman I've never laid my eyes on. She's hurting because she's got a family who she thinks that she can't take care of anymore. Get that into your thick skull of yours." Bailey smacked Callie on the head.

"Uh." Callie can't think of anything to say. "But... Why her and not me?"

"You saw her in her weakest moment, and she didn't want that to be all you ever saw. For God's sake, she probably just wants you to love her…" Bailey coughed. "...and not think about the time you did the worst thing and the only thing to do to save her ass. _I _know it was the only thing you could do, and she knows, too, but it hasn't sunk in. All she knows is that you look at her different." Bailey shook her head.

Callie tried cut her off, but Bailey just put her hand on her arm. "I know she's the same Arizona, you don't need to tell me that. You tell _her._"

With that, Bailey stood to go. "Because lord knows that woman's gonna get a talk from me, but she should still know." _That girl…Arizona needs to pull it together before she loses this wonderful woman. _"Now, you stay here. It'll take a hell of a lot longer to get through to her." Callie could only watch as Miranda marched away to go give her wife a piece of her mind. But Bailey turned around at the door before shutting it. "This isn't your fault, but you might be the only one who can fix this."


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: I told you I'd get better at this updating thing ;) I don't really have much to say, so, happy readings as always. Enjoy. :) _

* * *

The slamming of a door woke Arizona from her sleep, and she found herself squinting against the bright lights that washed out the empty room.

"What the hell?" She could see a body standing at the door frame, but it was too short to be Callie, so she didn't mind yelling at the intruder. "This room is in use." The words were grumbled in a way that would make any intern or resident below them run for cover, especially since she rarely allowed herself to get angry. Which annoyed her greatly when the person didn't leave or even flick off the light that was causing a pounding headache.

Rubbing her eyes until her vision adjusted, Arizona finally looked up through unkempt blonde hair to see that the person standing there was Miranda Bailey. _Great..._

"Get your ass up, Robbins. Your wife is gonna be back here- IF she ever stops crying on my hospital floors- only because she's got nowhere else to go. And both of you are expected back to work in six hours. Pick up the damn slack. You think I'm sleeping through this mess?" Bailey's look dared her to talk back, but luckily the glare only lasted a few seconds, and she was gone by the time Arizona had swiped the sleepiness from her face.

"Hey." The words were barely herd but still sharp. That's all Callie spoke before she went to work moving her borrowed hospital cot further from her wife's. Arizona covered her face with her hands, at a loss for what to say, but was shocked out of her thoughts when a click was heard from the connected bathroom. When she was sure Callie was busy using the built in shower, she finally let out the breath she'd been holding. The blonde leaned back against the bed, taking a few moments to rest her eyes before the inevitable fight that would happen once again.

The next thing she heard was crying. It started softly, muffled by the roaring of the shower along with the bustling hospital sounds. Eventually, the sobs seemed to shake the walls, and didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Arizona's chest hurt from the sound, but she refused to run away again. Not from this...not from her. She is your wife, Arizona, her conscience screamed.

The pediatric surgeon couldn't take it anymore; not with her wife losing it one door away, and she covered her ears, shaking uncontrollably. For the first time in a while, the pain came back. First throbbing, then searing, and she could picture her invisible leg being ripped to shreds on that terrible plane ride that had changed everything. The prosthetic was propped up against the wall, but she couldn't reach it fast enough.

It'd never been this bad; not when she first woke up on the forest ground after blacking out, or when the infection had spread, or when Callie had to amputate. It had never been this painful. And Arizona couldn't stand it.

"Fuck!" She punched the bed with vigor, trying to hit a limb that was no longer there. "Go away! I don't want this pain. I don't want this fucking life. I don't want to hurt anyone..." She didn't know who she was talking to, but when she spotted Callie out of the corner of her eye, her mouth snapped shut.  
"Calliope."

The Latina was frozen, damp wavy hair dripping onto a fresh set of scrubs and staining the navy color until it was barely black. Her eyes were red and swollen, a vast contrast to the dark bags that were set underneath. She'd never looked more beautiful, and she'd never looked so scared.

Arizona hung her head in shame. "I didn't...I didn't even realize I was yelling. I'm sorry for interrupting you." Her voice shook in waves, like an ocean during a storm. "I can go if you want to sleep." Normally Arizona would find a new room, but she'd heard from one of the nurses in a surgery that they were quickly running out of open hospital beds, even in closed off, private wards. Most of the residents and interns were napping on the floor of the on call rooms if they weren't doubled up in beds. Callie had been lucky to grab this room before anyone had gotten to it, but Arizona didn't feel welcome to enjoy it.

Callie contemplated the statement, but just shook her head. No matter what, Arizona was her wife and she would make sure she was safe. Sofia had already been checked on, and though Callie had offered to take her off of the tired workers hands, they assured the doctor that they'd take care of her baby as long as she promised to save more lives. Now, she just had to make sure her wife was okay… as long as she distanced herself.

"Are you sure?" Arizona asked.

"Yes, god, just go back to sleep. I'm exhausted." Callie rolled her eyes and scrambled into the bed after turning off the light, slightly shivering from the cold of her hair.

"...Do you need another blanket?" Arizona spoke after an unknown amount of minutes, quietly in case Callie had just fallen asleep.

There was no movement to give away the wide awake Latina when the words were spoken, so Arizona just sighed and closed her eyes. But Callie was just stewing in her own thoughts secretly. She'd almost snapped at her wife, but remembered what Bailey said. '_Just let her do something for you'_, Callie thought to herself. As much as she hated her wife for what she did, she didn't want the blonde to keep feeling inadequate, especially with the daughter they'd be raising together, even if they were separated.

At first, Arizona thought she was just hearing things when a "sure" was whispered into the air. With a glance at the lump under the thin sheet in the bed a few feet away from her, she saw brown eyes staring at her, but the darkness made it impossible to understand her emotions.

"Okay. Give me a few minutes." It took Arizona a little bit longer than normal to attach her prosthetic just well enough to get to the supply closet because her hands were shaking, but the attempt failed anyways- as she reached for one of the comfortable blankets, she was stopped by an aggravated nurse. Apparently they were already low on supplies and they needed each and every one for the patients they'd been receiving.

Arizona couldn't help talking back to the unpleasant woman, asking how they thought the surgeons would be able to do their job if they couldn't sleep well for the few hours they had off. The nurse didn't budge.  
When Arizona made it back into the room, she realized Callie was already asleep, snoring gently, and even through everything that had happened, the sound never ceased to make her smile. Arizona took her own blanket and draped it over the resting figure, assuming that Callie needed the sleep more than she, especially since she'd already had an hour or two off call.

The cot was cold and uncomfortable without a blanket to wrap herself in, but Arizona could make do for this one thing she'd been able to accomplish for her wife.

Xx

Callie was relaxed… for lack of a better word. Her head was spinning from the night before, when she'd hardly spoken a word to her wife…._adulterous wife_. Still, hours of sleeping off a long shift tended to do that, no matter what mental state she was in- that was something she'd found out during her years of residency when she almost went crazy from picking up her slacker of an attending's work. And although a quick run of her hand through her hair made it painfully obvious of the knots and tangles left from a night of sleeping with improperly dried hair, she found herself not caring. Especially since a quick look to her side ensured that she was alone. _Arizona must have gone back to work… God, what time is it?_

The open blinds told her that it was nighttime, but that didn't make any sense… all the doctor's who'd stuck to their shift had been called in during the late in the daytime to prepare for the disaster, so… she had to have worked for almost 24 hours, and then slept through anything else. She hadn't even noticed how long she'd been breaking and mending bones, but a flick of her wrist confirmed her curiosity. Those magic hands would probably need a little ice on them before anything else.

Callie wondered why no one had woken her up, because honestly there weren't many (capable) residents when it came to bones. They'd all enrolled in med school for the heart, or the brain, or even livers and guts and gory stuff, but no one found bones as interesting as Seattle's best Ortho surgeon. Usually that was okay, since there wasn't much need for more than one in the specialty, but besides the causalities that came with these kinds of storms, most of the other patients suffered from broken bones. She never understood why they couldn't just stay inside, and clean the damn roof during the days when winds weren't knocking down whole trees…Callie shook her head just thinking of the case from earlier. He'd ended up being one of her few major surgeries this time around, with lungs punctured by multiple ribs, not to mention broken bones on almost every limb. She worked with Yang on that surgery, luckily, and they managed to save the dumbass.

Callie had just decided that whoever had taken over, if anyone, wouldn't be good enough for her standards, and moved to push the sheets off of her when she realized that Arizona's bed was completely bare. With another look down, she cursed under her breath. She'd fallen asleep when Arizona had gone off to get a new blanket, but she assumed that the blonde couldn't find one because hers was also draped over Callie. She found herself stupidly worrying about the comfort of her wife, but… _The room is a little cold. _

The dark haired woman barely had time to roll her eyes, chastising herself for caring, before the smell of coffee wafted through the barely open door. Her eyes caught up with her nose when she saw two cups of coffee carefully balanced in one fair skinned hand, and a box of what looked like doughnuts in the other. At first, she assumed it was Arizona and began to mentally build up her walls. Then she noticed the soft tan, and an unmistakable gold designer watch. Callie's mouth dropped open when a head covered in red hair peeked through the doorway.

"…Addison?"

* * *

_A/N Part Dos: Surprise! What is Addison doing in town? What's going to happen next? You'll have to wait till the next chapter... but I'll try not to disappoint._ _As always, reviews are appreciated. _

_(Unless your main goal is to bash on me about my attempt to make Arizona seem like just a human... because she is one. Always remember that as you continue to read this story. I will not write to make Callie sound perfect and Arizona sound like a total fuck up. Things aren't always that black and white. Even the worst kinds of people have feelings...and Arizona is not that. I won't tell you I 100% for sure know what I'm doing with this story, but I will tell you that it's true that stories can sometimes write themselves.) _

_Also, one question. Longer chapters and less frequent updates, or semi- short chapters like this and frequent updates? You decide. _


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: The first half of this chapter is basically a comedic relief. Only…not very comedic. I'm not sure what to call it. A happy relief? Anyways, review if you enjoy it :) and just a warning- this chapter is half Arizona-centric. If you are one of those people who hate Arizona with a passion and don't think her and Callie should get back together, please don't bother reading this. As I said previously, I would never condone what Arizona did, but I do want them to at least attempt to work things out, and that is the general basis of my story. I understand this is a touchy subject and I respect everyone's views on the situation, but please do not leave a review telling me only how much you hate Arizona or Lauren or Callie. This story will still be written however I believe it should play out. _

_(P.S. Those who had issues with chapter 4: I have edited it to your preferences (somewhat). I understand where you all were coming from.)_

* * *

_"Addison?" _

"How many other good looking redheads do you know?" The world class neonatal surgeon winked at her best friend as if this was an everyday occurrence.

"None...but, it's funny because the only one I know lives in California and had no way of getting here considering..." Callie didn't even bother to finish her sentence, instead pointing out the window. "It barely stopped raining a few hours ago."

"Never underestimate the power of money, Dr. Torres." Addison sat down on the side of Callie's bed and crossed her legs, purposely ignoring the glowering look the Latina gave her when she wouldn't hand her the steaming, aromatic coffee right away. "...Actually, I don't need to tell you that."

"Give me the coffee." It had only been a few minutes and she was already getting annoyed by the buttons Addison seemed adamant on pushing. She couldn't deny she was happy the busy woman had showed up, though. She hadn't even thought of calling, only dwelling on the fact that her best friend was dead. She'd assumed her fate was to lose everyone who'd gotten close enough for her to care about.

Addison just shook her head, sticking to her guns. "You get your coffee when you talk." She wasn't actually that cruel, she just figured she'd hold out for a few minutes. She'd thought about pushing, because that's what Mark would have done...but she wasn't Mark. She already felt slightly guilty for pushing her into Hahn's arms. That had turned out...fucking terrible, for a lack of other words. So instead, she sat back and waited for Callie to speak.

"Arizona cheated on me."

Addison just nodded, already knowing the news, which caused a light bulb to go off in Callie's muddled mind. "Why are you here?" she asked, attempting to sound inquisitive instead of accusing.  
Addison's expression clued her in that the attempted cover-up had failed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I don't want you here, it's just..." Callie took a deep breath, letting it go slowly through a clenched jaw. "It's been a rough day," she finally spoke, obviously simplifying the situation.

Addison reached out for her friend's hand, taking it in her own. "I came as soon as the private runway was cleared up." Seeing Callie's confused expression, she rushed, "I heard about Meredith and Derek's baby and the complications... I just wanted to check it out." That was a lie, but Addison kept a straight face and continued to make eye contact anyways. The truth was, Arizona had contacted her. The text was obviously rushed and ridden with guilt, but it got the point across well enough. Addison had been so pissed that she didn't bother responding. Arizona would hear about it sometime anyways. Gossip spread faster than a wildfire at Sloan Grey Memorial Hospital, and a story of a surgeon who had had an affair with her ex-husband's recently deceased best friend showing up just as said ex produces a child...yeah, it was probably going to spiral out of control, but hopefully Arizona would get the gist of it.

Callie was more than happy to accept that answer for now, although she would have honestly accepted anything as a response since her body currently lacked the caffeine needed to clear her muddled head. _'My sleep schedule is fucked,_' she thought to herself. _'Who willingly goes through years of grueling school just to work straight through some days and into the next?_' Callie was starting to lose focus in the current conversation, wondering for what was definitely not the first time whether or not she was slightly crazy.

"Anyways... Calliope..." Addison's voice snapped her out of it.

"Don't call me Calliope."

Addison rolled her eyes, grinning in a way that made Callie suspicious. She narrowed her eyes at the woman, unsure yet what was actually going on.

Addison pointed at her with the hand holding her own coffee. "Don't squint at me. If I give you your coffee will you stop acting like you need glasses, I'm a little worried for your patients right now. You look like someone who would mistake a tibia for a fibula."

Callie gave up, throwing her hands in the air. "You can call me Calliope once more without danger of being hit if you give me the coffee." Despite the situation, she was actually on the verge of being playful now; she'd missed having someone to talk to and pretend things were okay with for a few minutes.

Addison seemed unfazed by the subtle change in Callie's demeanor, responding, "I'll call you Calliope when I want to. You can't beat me in a throw down anyways."

Callie just stared for a few seconds, until a real laugh escaped from her lips. "Addison, no offense but I could crush you if I wanted to." Her friend had always been skinny, and although now she looked much healthier than when they'd first met, obviously soaking up the west coast sun, Callie didn't have a doubt in her mind that Addison would be no more of a match than some of the Peds patients who walked through the hospital doors. Besides... "You're bluffing, there's no way you'd fight with that watch on your wrist. How many paychecks did that cost you? Or did it come with your new Mercedes?" Callie raised her eyebrows, a smirk across her face.

Addison was the only person she felt comfortable talking about money with. Even when it came to Arizona, they'd simply silently decided to keep Callie's renewed trust fund aside until their daughter needed it. The idea of money had always made Callie uncomfortable, but she enjoyed the playful banter with Addison. Especially since she hadn't exactly picked the cheapest or most practical car in the world... Her T-bird was still her first child, no matter what people said.

Addison just blushed, and Callie realized that it must have come from a man. Which one, she wasn't exactly sure. She'd given up trying to follow the stories of Addison's many boyfriends years ago, but she wasn't about to let on that that was the case.

"Uh oh. What's his name?"

As much as Addison wanted to tell Callie everything about her new and wonderful boyfriend, she held back, knowing what Callie had gone through. Instead, she shrugged and responded, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Okay..." Callie decided to drop it, hoping her friend would spill sooner or later. "So. Coffee?" she asked hopefully, and muttered a 'thank you' to the universe when Addison handed it over without a word. Callie also reached for one of the doughnuts, and chewed thoughtfully for a few seconds. Making sure she swallowed before speaking, she continued, "So, you know."

Addison seemed startled by the topic that had been willingly thrown out there; she'd thought she would have to coax it out of the brunette. Still, she barely skipped a beat. "Yes."

"And you're here to help me binge eat my feelings away?" Callie attempted to crack another joke, but it fell flat.

"I told you! I'm here for Meredith and Derek… and to whisk you away," she added, the corner of her lips twitching as she forced herself to wait for Callie's question.

Callie paused mid-chew. "...To where?"

"Callie's going to Cali, baby!"

Xx

"I'm sorry, _what?_"

"I'm taking Callie back to Cali." Addison couldn't hold back her smirk.

Arizona stared, still confused. "But...I asked you to come here to talk to her. Not to drag her away."

"Well, I wouldn't think you would have a say in this considering-" Addison took a deep breath, trying to keep a hold on her temper. "Look. Callie is a fighter. Which means she'll just keep arguing with herself, and _you, _over everything, but this isn't something that's easily solved." She crossed her arms. "I would know." She thought back to the time many years ago when she had cheated on her own spouse.

"We have a child…" Arizona sat down, not exactly sure where she was going with that.

Addison didn't pity her. "I'm not kidnapping the woman. I'm giving her a way to get away before she spontaneously combusts or…something. She'll be back in a few days. I only got the Chief to give her four days off." Since Owen didn't know her from the past like Webber had, she hadn't been expecting much, but four days was pretty generous considering the current situation. She got the idea that he knew a little bit of what had happened, but didn't push her luck by asking any questions.

"And she's leaving Sofia with me?" The blonde seemed surprised.

Addison pondered that question. "Well… I think you should talk to Callie about that. But if I had to guess… Callie isn't a bitch. She wouldn't keep Sofia from her mother."

Arizona relaxed slightly, but was still worried. She figured she'd bring it up with Callie before she left for the trip. "When exactly are you leaving?"

"In the morning."

Arizona groaned. "I know you hate me right now, I know I'm the woman who broke your friend's heart, but I need to know if I should go home tonight." They'd gotten word from Owen that most of the main roads had been cleared, and the few trees that had fallen around the hospital had been removed. They were now free to go as long as they made sure that there was someone to cover them that hadn't made it in for the previous shift.

Addison gave her a look. "What would she think if you didn't?"

Just then, both women heard the current subject's voice traveling down the hallway.

"Shit. I'll go. Um… I'll be home a little past midnight, I'm almost finished here. …Get her home before she leaves okay? I need to see her."

Addison softened, but only slightly. "She'll be there, but we're leaving as soon as the sun rises."

Arizona nodded, ready to rush off before Callie found them.

Before she could leave, Addison stopped her. "I can't promise anything, Arizona. You guys were good together. Just don't give up until you know for sure that there's no chance. She's been hurt more times than you can count, but… Callie is forgiving, as long as you earn it."

Arizona barely had time to walk away before Callie turned the corner. Although she managed to avoid her wife this time, she knew she'd have to come up with the right things to say in a little under a few hours, or she might lose Callie for good.

Xx

Arizona had hoped Callie would still be at work when she was finally able to pick up her daughter from the daycare a little past midnight, and she was in luck. Unfortunately, this meant that she had too much time to think. After an hour of rocking Sofia back and forth while pacing around the house, Arizona forced herself to put her daughter to bed.

This left Arizona in the eerie quiet of the loft, alone and still trying desperately to figure out what to say. She knew she was running out of time; Callie would stay away for as long as she could but eventually she'd have to show up at least to say goodbye to Sofia, and Arizona was determined to stay in her exact position for however long it would be, if only so that Callie's first thought wouldn't be that she had gone back to Lauren.

Arizona loved Callie with all of her heart. She really did. Every inch of her was filled with love for her wife…but somehow it hadn't been enough. Before she met Callie, she was known for sleeping with many of the doctors and nurses at the hospital. She never stayed with anyone for longer than a few days, and spent nights with mysterious women trying to fill the emptiness that came after Joanne had left her, and then again when Tim had died.

Arizona never forced herself to think about what that meant until she cheated on her wife. She chalked it up to a preference for emotional detachment. Keeping everyone at arm's length made her less likely to fail someone. Less likely to be hurt again. But, she realized, Callie had almost been through worse. Her brother hadn't died, but her mother _had _basically disowned her, her ex-husband had cheated on her and then died, her first girlfriend had disappeared before she could blink, and her best friend died in the same plane crash that caused Arizona's leg to be amputated. And now…

_Oh my god. _Arizona froze. She finally understood what Addison had meant. _Everyone_ had left Callie... That's why Callie was so worried that Arizona had been fishing for a divorce since the accident. But that wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Callie should feel _relieved _that Arizona hadn't disappeared right after. It wasn't fair that Callie had managed to find a positive side to this mess.

By the time Arizona knew what she had to do, she heard a _click, _the warning sign that Callie was home. So she prepared herself, ready to finally be the person her father had raised her to be. Selfless, and a good man in a storm.

Xx


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Okay...here comes "the talk." Prepare yourselves, and once again: Please don't leave hate messages about the characters as reviews. Callie and Arizona, in my mind, are meant to be together. So that says something for the future of this story. If you're browsing for a fic that is based on Callie just leaving Arizona and finding someone else, or vice versa, this isn't it. _

_With that said, reviews are appreciated as long as you keep them clean. :) Hope you guys like this chapter; it took me a long time to realize what I wanted Arizona to say. _

* * *

Callie leaned her head against her apartment door, blindly reaching for keys that seemed to be lost in her purse. She was utterly exhausted, and wouldn't have even thought of going home for the night, except that she knew her unplanned trip was scheduled to begin in just a few hours, and she had to get some rest, or at least pack. _'Get in, get out. How hard can that be?_'

Not giving herself a chance for second guessing, Callie stepped inside...and froze.

The memories rushed back to her, flashing in front of her eyes as she saw Arizona waiting for her on their couch, and she couldn't help thinking that this is what death was supposed to feel like.

One scene in particular was impossible to shake. She could see it clearly: she'd been sitting on the couch, waiting for hours for Arizona to get home. It was the day of her at the time girlfriend's birthday, and the day she'd almost ruined everything trying to surprise her. It was the first time they finally managed to say "I love you."

Now, Arizona was front of her, in the exact same position she had been in almost too long ago, and she didn't dare take another step. It was ridiculous to feel as if sudden movements could change anything, but after all that had happened Callie felt as if she could scare off her own wife just by getting any closer.

Fortunately, Arizona stood up, her expression barely shifting to show signs of emotion, and Callie was snapped back to reality. The reality was that everything had changed, and it was far beyond her control. Her wife was right in front of her, staring, waiting for her to say anything, and still Callie could not find the words to explain what she felt in the pit of her stomach.

She'd always found words.

"Calliope..." Arizona's voice was different; lighter, yet holding the weight of the world. The soft tone in which she spoke Callie's full name still made Callie smile. "Follow me?"

Arizona didn't look back as she tiptoed into the nursery where Sofia was now sleeping, and sat down on one of the two worn down rocking chairs set up next to each other. After what felt like full minutes, the second chair creaked as a body sunk into the plush seating only a foot away from her own place in the room. Arizona breathed in deeply as the scent of Callie washed over her, but didn't look over.

Callie forced herself not to reach out and take Arizona's hand in her own. Even after all this time, and all that had happened, Callie felt most connected to the woman when their hands touched. But she couldn't do that now, not when she was just trying to get through the day without losing it again. So instead, she stared at the pale palm that rested on the armrest so close to her own hand, only separated by the distance between their chairs.

Arizona's palm looked soft, yet Callie could almost feel the calluses on each finger that told a different story. One of a woman who'd always been stronger than she looked at first glance. Callie had admired that from the beginning. But now, as Callie looked at a face lined with new creases and lines that she'd never taken the time to notice before that night, she came to the realization that Arizona just looked as drained as she was, if not more. She'd look like she'd been through decades worth of hardships, in just a year.

Suddenly, Callie felt as if that night, no matter what happened, would be more important to their relationship than their wedding and the day Sofia was born, combined. The air seemed to freeze, waiting as eagerly and nervously for Arizona to speak as she had been. Luckily, no one had to wait very long.

Both sets of eyes turned to the sleeping Sofia as Arizona finally got up the courage to whisper what she'd been waiting for Callie to come home to say. "...I always put off filing for second parent adoption after Mark passed away. Not because I don't feel like she's mine. Sofia is...just as much my child as she is yours, or Mark's. It just didn't feel right to take the father figure spot of a man who was a better person than I could ever think of being."

Callie couldn't stop her vision from blurring as tears appeared in her eyes just thinking of Mark, but refused to blink them away.

Arizona, of course, noticed, but just continued. "Sometimes when I try to fall asleep at night..." her voice wavered slightly, "I wish that it was Mark who'd survived the plane crash. Because he would have taken one leg over death any day. He would have taken it like...well, like Mark. He would have taken care of _you_. And he certainly wouldn't make you feel like you'd lost the both of us. At least you would have someone you deserve."

Callie opened her mouth to speak, but Arizona just held up a hand. "This isn't to make you feel guilty, Calliope. Just...let me get to my point, please." Arizona knew she was begging now, but she had no choice. "I always thought I was in the worst pain possible, but I couldn't be more wrong. You're in pain, Calliope. I saw you trying to fight it every day, and I ignored it. No wife should ever ignore their loved one's pain, because... when you get married, you're supposed to be the one who makes them happy." Arizona shrugged with a self-deprecating half-smile.

"I'm not who my father raised me to be, and that's all he ever asked of me." Arizona cast her eyes towards the floor, not being able to look at the woman she loved. "I cheated on you to make you feel what I felt. But I... I know now that you already did feel it. You felt that every day, and more." Arizona finally looked up at Callie, whose emotions were still unreadable. _'She's listening, that's a good sign…'_ With renewed confidence, she continued before Callie could try to respond again.

"Up until about... An hour before you walked through that door, I was planning on telling you that our relationship was one hundred percent up to you. But that's... unfair of me to ask of you. We both know you'd only think of our daughter. Now, I want you to think of yourself. I never wanted to be a mom until I almost lost you the first time. But now I know without a doubt that I'll always be there for Sofia. On the other hand, you might not want me around. I _can_ promise you this: you come back from California and tell me to leave, and I'll do it. Hell, you could wait a year and then decide to kick me out, and I'll be gone before you can blink. But..."

Arizona reached out with her left arm for Callie's hand that rested on the side of the rocking chair. She didn't move to intertwine their fingers, instead comforting her wife with soft movements of her thumb to the back of a tanned hand. "I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. Not until you know for sure. You may have lost me for a while there, but... Right now, I have a lot more to lose. You, and..." Arizona purposely didn't continue, but another glance at the sleeping child clued Callie in, causing her to tilt her head in confusion.

"Arizona... Sofia is yours. You said it yourself. No matter what any paper says. You're a wonderful mom. You will always be. If we... split up, I promise I won't take her away. She's not going anywhere."

Arizona let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in, and looked straight at her wife. " And what about you?"

"I...need time to think." Callie cleared her throat in an attempt to push down the lump that had formed and forced herself to sound stronger. "I just don't know where we're supposed to go from here. I was settled for life! I gave my heart, my _everything _to you, Arizona Robbins. And you...you crushed it into little tiny pieces! And then I put it back together and you did it again. And this time...I thought this was it. I thought maybe, with all its cracks and bruises, our relationship would survive as long as you kept your promise that you'd never run."

"And now?" Arizona dared to continue to stare at the dark skinned woman through tears on her eyelashes.

"I should hate you. I should tell you to get out." Callie's voice was bitter. "But...I can't. And as much as I try to avoid it, I know why that is. You're it for me, Arizona. You're that person. And you don't see it. You don't see that I don't care that you have one freaking leg, because you're just as beautiful to me as you were years ago. You don't see how much it hurt me to have to single-handedly ruin the rest of your life because all you wanted is for me to save your leg, and I couldn't. But I could save you. So that's what I did. And when you slept with Lauren…It made me feel like you'd rather be dead than be with me. I know that isn't it, but…It was always in the back of my mind." Callie absentmindedly played with Arizona's wedding ring, spinning it back and forth. "I should tell you to go, but I just don't know if I can make it without you. And that's not fair."

Arizona tried desperately to catch the frustrated tears that ran down Callie's cheeks, and ended up cupping her face with both palms. She searched for something to say, anything to stall losing her wife just because she'd listened to some dumb surgeon that just wanted to sleep with her.

"You know...I fight myself, when I'm happy. I think, 'This can't be right; no one could ever love me enough to keep me around when I inevitably fuck up.' And so...this is what I do. It's like...friendly fire, and you got caught in it- and you stuck around. The first time. And the second...and the third...and now I'm lost in a war in my head and I can't win. I'm just an injured soldier who wants out… And I can't get out. I can't get out of my own head and I know that I'm just going to keep losing." Arizona felt relieved when she noticed Callie had stopped crying and started listening.

"Lauren saw me as a pretty face, but... you see everything. You see all of me, even some things that I can't see... It was too much for me, because I only wanted to feel pain and anger for what had happened to me. And now...I see you. All of you. And I know that you don't like to run away from your problems, but this time, you have to take a break." Arizona leaned forward to kiss Callie's forehead gently. She knew what she had to say next, but that didn't make it easier.

"So I want you to go to California, and have fun with Addison, and see what's out there that's not me. So, you can come back and say, 'You're not holding me back!' And I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, even though I'll know that can't be done." She smiled, and took both of Callie's hands in her own. "...Or, you can see that I am holding you back, and you can _then_ tell me to go. This way only your happiness is in your hands. _Your_ happiness, Calliope. You can get that back. And when you're happy, I can be happy too," Arizona finished. The silence that followed for a few seconds was almost haunting.

Suddenly, Arizona was pulled up out of the chair and swept into Callie's arms for a tight hug. It took the blonde a few seconds, but soon she was grasping at the back of Callie's shirt, her head buried in her wife's neck...and finally, she could breathe again.

Callie spoke for the first time, her voice thick with emotion. "I love you, Arizona. Always. Even if..." she trailed off, but Arizona knew exactly what she meant.

"Even if."

The couple did nothing except stand there, holding each other until their child began to stir. Both wondered if this would be the last time they'd get the chance to feel like a family. But even with all the possibilities of the future weighing them down, they both felt as if they could get their lives back.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: I'm sorry that this chapter is so short. I'm in California on vacation, but I wanted to give you guys at least something to read. After this chapter, there will be probably two chapters that don't have any Calzona interaction. Yes, I know, I don't like it either. But it's necessary. One will focus on Callie, and one will focus on Arizona. _

_As always, read, enjoy, and review :) _  
_-K._

* * *

"Are you sure you don't need a ride to the airport?" Arizona slammed the trunk of Addison's car shut.

"Yes, Arizona, I'm sure. It's a rental car; it has to go back anyways." Addison couldn't help rolling her eyes. When she'd arrived in the morning, things seemed to be...better between Callie and Arizona, for lack of a better word. And when Arizona had offered to help carry Callie's overly heavy suitcase down the stairs of their apartment building because the elevator was broken, Addison didn't miss the look her friend had given the blonde. There was still tension in the air, but they _were_ speaking to each other. She wasn't yet sure if it would be a good thing in the end that Callie had been so quick to let Arizona back in, but at least something was changing.

They had been ready to go half an hour ago, technically, but Addison decided to let Callie and Arizona keep stalling. She wasn't worried about the flight, since it was a private jet that she'd called in some favors for to get so quickly. The pilots could wait an extra ten minutes. Though they'd begun to push it, so Addison figured it was time to speak up. "Callie, get the hell over here and give me your baby so you can say goodbye to Arizona." Addison's voice was purposely raised just enough for Arizona to hear, and Callie glared.

"Don't curse in front of my baby. We're already waiting to see what kind of effect Yang had on her from the last time she needed to be watched."

Arizona chuckled. "That was a terrible idea, Calliope."

"Five minutes shouldn't have been long enough to scar a child! And I really had to pee. Yang said she'd be okay…," Callie responded sheepishly.

Addison snapped her fingers, cutting the women off from the banter that was only beginning. "Hand her over."

Callie begrudgingly handed Sofia to her 'aunt' after a kiss on the cheek and a mumbled, "Be good to momma while I'm gone, okay?"

Addison smiled despite the strict demeanor, and shifted her weight when Sofia was placed in her arms. When Arizona looked to the ground awkwardly, not sure how to say goodbye, Addison poked Callie in the arm and gestured toward her. "Go talk," she whispered. "I'll be...somewhere as far as I can go with a baby on my side." The redhead winked, and walked away.

Arizona watched, and when she deemed Addison to be far enough away, she leaned against the car and looked at Callie, unsure of what to do. "So..." She was caught off guard when Callie stepped in front of her, pinning her between the car and her wife. "Callio-"

Callie cut her off with long, passion-filled kiss. Their lips seemed to ignite at the slightest brush, and they both sighed happily, knowing that if nothing else, at least that hadn't changed. Callie's hand slid through Arizona's hair and then tightened its grip, pulling them closer. Arizona let Callie lead, and when the latter finally pulled away, her heart stuttered. "Um...?" Arizona bit her bottom lip.

"Don't," Callie stated. "It just feels like I'm sort of... doing the "Africa thing" right now. Leaving you here and running away. And I know it's different, you don't have to tell me that. But I couldn't go without that."

Arizona looked at Callie's shaking hands that were now on her hips. "You can do this, you know. I want you to do this. California will be good for you...and it's only four days." Arizona tucked a strand of Callie's hair behind her ear in an attempt to reassure her.

"Then why are you so nervous?"

Arizona coughed. "Why would I be nervous?"

"You're tapping your fingers against anything within reach."

'_Damn_.' Arizona wished Callie wasn't able to read her so well. "It's...Lauren." Seeing the color disappear from Callie's face, she grabbed her by the shoulders. "No, no, not that! She just...refuses to leave." Lauren had corned her the night before just as she was about to go home. "She says she won't go until we figure it out. We don't _have _anything to figure out! It was a mistake. But she won't leave. And I don't know what to say; it's not like I can tell her that you and I are okay, because we're not. And she won't listen to 'I'm trying to fix it' because she thinks I'm some...some charity case and that everything I say means that I'm a control freak and that it's her job to change that. Callie... What am I supposed to say?" Arizona looked on the verge of tears.

"Look..." Callie took a deep breath. "Tell her that you have a wife who loves you more than her own life and would have put herself on that damn plane instead of you if she would have known what was going to happen." Callie pulled Arizona in for a tight hug. "If she's not gone by the time I'm back, I'll talk to her myself."

"Why do you trust me?" Arizona asked. She'd been afraid to mention it to Callie because she thought she'd blow up on her.

Callie saw the hopeful look in Arizona's eyes and responded, "I don't."

The hope instantly dimmed, but Arizona's smile only flickered for a second. "I didn't expect you to. Thank you, Callie. For... at least thinking about this."

"It's not for you." Callie had done many things for Arizona, but this was for her. She knew she had to at least give it time; she didn't have a choice. She knew that from the few times she'd tried to get away from Arizona in the past.

"I know," Arizona responded. "I truly do want to be a better person for you, Calliope, but I don't know how."

"I know." Callie closed her eyes. "I'm just... I'm not angry right now, Arizona. I'm confused. When you left for Africa and I slept with Mark, you almost murdered him. Now…I mean, I knew that you blamed me; I knew that losing your leg was a lot to take in and you were going to end up lashing out, but this was never you. You never would have done this. So you've changed, but I never wanted that. I just wanted...regular Arizona." Callie shrugged. "So you run a lot. I'd rather have you run than...sleep with someone other than me."

Arizona nodded, attempting to keep her tears at bay. There had been enough crying in the past day or so already. "It was a mistake... I love _you_."

Callie frowned, and kissed Arizona's cheek softly. "I know you do."

Suddenly, a mess of red hair blocked their view of each other. "Come on, Callie! We gotta go."

Both women silently decided to give in. Sofia started to reach for her mother, but Callie just kissed the little girl's outstretched palms. Arizona took over, and soon Sofia was clinging to her blonde hair like a lifeline.

"Have a great trip, Calliope." Arizona could barely get the words out.

Callie couldn't help wrapping her arms around her family one last time. She couldn't think of anything to say to her beautiful, heartbreaking wife, so instead she held her again, and kissed the tip of her earlobe.

After a few seconds, they were forced to pull away. Callie pushed her sunglasses onto her face and slid into the car, too afraid that if she looked behind her, she'd go running back to Arizona, and she knew that she needed time to think without relying only on her instincts this time.

Addison hung back. "Arizona... Don't fuck this up. Please." By Addison's eyes, Arizona could see that the woman was not only looking out for her friend, but remembering her own past also. "I've done it before. And Derek and I... maybe we would have lasted, maybe we wouldn't have. But he found Meredith, and he's so much happier now. You better hope that you're really "the one" or whatever, because Callie doesn't have to deal with your shit, except that she has so far, which has to mean something. Callie is giving herself this chance to figure out what she wants. Maybe she won't come back, maybe she will. Either way... don't even think about getting near Lauren again, or anyone else for that matter. I'll personally see to it that Callie finds someone better."

Arizona couldn't look Addison in the eyes. She knew she needed to hear it from someone else for it to really sink in, but she now realized that there was more than a chance that she would lose Callie. "...I know," she murmured.

"Good." Addison nodded towards where Callie was sitting. "Better not keep her waiting."

"Yeah...keep her safe, okay?" Arizona's eyebrows scrunched together in worry.

"She'll be safe," Addison confirmed. When she saw Callie impatiently waving at her from inside the car, she grumbled, "I know, I know," and made her way to the driver's seat.

Arizona froze as she watched the scene in front of her. And in that moment, she understood what Callie had been through when she'd left her in the airport for a flight to Africa. _'Callie will be back'_, she kept repeating to herself, but she still couldn't help feeling as if everything she ever wanted would be driving away in that car and never looking back. Just as Addison was about to speed away, Arizona jumped into action and raced towards the passenger side. Callie was startled by the knock on the window, but rolled down her window.

Arizona felt as if she couldn't breathe. "Tell me I'll see you soon," she blurted out.

Callie's features softened even as she felt her chest constrict. "I'll be back in Seattle before you can say 'there are no other decent orthopedic surgeons in the hospital to take over anyways.'"

Arizona let out a pained laugh. "That's...a lot to say."

Cracking a smile, Callie responded, "Well it _is _a four day vacation."

Arizona felt the slightest bit better and backed away from the car. "_I love you_", she mouthed again, but with Callie's sunglasses on, she couldn't tell if she'd been looking or not.


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N:**__ So, I've found that I have more time to write than originally thought on this trip. Especially since I just took a 3 hour drive that had no phone signal. Lots of time to write there. _

_This chapter is basically the start of Callie's vacation. I know I said that both Callie and Arizona would have one chapter each to themselves, but it's going to be more than that. Hopefully only 2 each, but they'd have to be long chapters then. The next chapter will be Arizona's, and then it will be Callie's again... etc. So you get a little bit of time with each character. I know you guys want Calzona interaction, but this is important to the progression of the story. These guys need time to think on their own. Maybe with the help of some other characters. _

_Now, in Callie's part of the story, I will incorporate some characters from Private Practice, but if you haven't watched the show you should still be able to follow it pretty well. I will tell you this though: __**THE CHARACTERS IN CALIFORNIA ARE MOLDED TO HELP THIS STORY.**__ What this means is that Addison is NOT married and does NOT have a kid, etc. Basically, the characters are used out of context of the actual TV show. _

_On that note, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. :) and bear with me until Callie and Arizona are reunited. _

* * *

Callie had stayed unusually quiet for the majority of the flight, so when she finally spoke, it startled Addison out of her own thoughts.

"Is your boyfriend living with you?"

Addison thought about playing dumb, but realized Callie was too smart. "Uh...no. We're kinda off and on right now." She looked down at her watch that her boyfriend had given her. "And we haven't been together very long anyways...nor will we be." The sigh that escaped her lips was not missed by her friend.

"Not the one?" Callie knew that Addison was a romantic, and wished that the redhead would get some luck sometime soon.

Addison just made a face in response. "He doesn't like cats."

Callie frowned. She knew that Addison wouldn't just say that it didn't feel right, but she was used to hearing more general complaints such as 'he's not around enough' or 'he sits in front of my door waiting for me to get home'. "You don't even have a cat."

"Actually, I do." Addison grinned. She'd gotten him at a shelter only a month or so before. "His name is Dr. Phil. Because he listens to my problems but can't do shit about them."

Callie burst out laughing. "You named your cat Dr. Phil? Are you going to mate him with Judge Judy the tabby?"

"Judge Judy is a terrible name for a cat. And I call him Phillip," Addison response defensively. "He's cute."

Deciding to let it go, Callie simply asked, "So why does it matter if boyfriend of the week doesn't like your therapist cat?"

"Because men who can't deal with a cat, can't deal with babies!" Addison huffed, exasperated. She didn't understand why Callie didn't get it.

"Oh..." Callie felt for her friend. Addison had wanted a baby for as long as Callie could remember being close to her, and possibly even before that. Now, Addison was pretty much out of time. The last time they'd talked, Addison seemed to have finally given in to the fact that she couldn't have a baby of her own, but she still hoped that she could adopt in the near future. So searching for a guy now was getting less and less about the romance and more about settling down for good.

"Don't worry." Callie smiled. "You'll find someone." She thought about Arizona and their previous argument about kids. It all seemed so unimportant and ridiculous to Callie, especially after she'd watched Arizona barely breathing on her OR table. Even without Sofia, she would have been happy. She loved her baby with all her heart, of course, but she was still an accident and Callie didn't know if they would ever had made the possibility of a baby a reality if not for Callie's fling with Mark.

She didn't say this to Addison, though, because everyone's opinion was different.

Addison smiled thankfully. "You sure do know how to make a girl feel better about her shriveling ovaries."  
Callie shuddered. "Don't mention it...really."

The redhead just chuckled. "So, we've got a few days. And whether you like it or not, I'm taking you out. If you want to relax the first day, though..."

"No, I want to go tonight." Callie had enough time to think on the plane, and her own mind was starting to make her crazy. "I really need a drink. Or ten."

"Why didn't you say something?"

A bottle of red wine appeared in front of them.

"What the hell? What'd you do, pull that out of your ass?" Callie stared.

Addison ignored that comment and popped the cork, taking a swig from the bottle. "Here," she said, passing it on.

Callie took the wine gratefully. "I'm not going to get drunk on a plane."

"Don't be ridiculous, it's just wine." Addison waved her hand in the air. "You'll be fine."

Xx

Less than half an hour later, Callie barely stumbled down the steps of the private plane with Addison holding onto her for support.

"It should be illegal to have that many bottles of wine in an aircraft," Callie mumbled as Addison tripped over her feet at the bottom of the steps.

"I didn't see you stopping me...or stopping yourself for that matter." Addison just carelessly continued to walk towards the man that held both of their small suitcases. "Thank you, Matt."

"Uh...my name is Tom," he spoke awkwardly.

Addison thought for a few moments. "No... You're Matt Lauer. I've seen you on TV. Don't lie." She leaned in closer and faux-whispered in his ear, "Don't worry, I won't tell. You look balder in person, by the way."

Callie snorted. "I'm sorry, Thomas. And tell your boss- whoever owns this plane- that Addison borrowed, that she's sorry for the red stain on the white carpet and she'll talk to him about replacing it when she's sober again."

Thomas looked at them, wide-eyed. "Uh...y-yeah. I'll do that."

Callie stuck a tip in his white dress shirt and pulled Addison away before she could say anything else. They had almost escaped when Addison turned around and yelled, "Bye Matt!"

Callie glared at her. "Fucking lightweight," she grumbled. "It's not even noon."

It took a while, but Callie finally managed to get Addison's keys from her purse and convince her that, no, she was NOT in the position to be able to drive. Then, with the drunken redhead sitting in the passenger seat, Callie drove off towards her friend's beach house.

By the time they got there, Addison seemed to be losing her energy. Luckily she got into the house by herself and ended up passing out on her bed after a wild swinging of her arms as a sort of "welcome to my home."

Callie figured she'd give Addison a while to sleep it off before they went out again that night. So after wandering the house for a few minutes and dumping her stuff on the guest bedroom, she left a note to Addison telling her she had gone for a walk, and went out the back door.

Addison's house had a beautiful view of the beach, and Callie took a few minutes to soak it in. It was almost like the Miami beaches she used to know so well, except less packed and somehow calmer.

She was lost in her thoughts when a voice came from her left. "You aren't Addison."

The statement came from a short and bald, yet chiseled and handsome dark skinned man that obviously lived in the house next door.

"Good eyes," Callie laughed. "I'm Callie Torres, Addison's friend from out of town." She walked over to shake hands with the strange man. "Next door neighbor?"

"Well, yes, but more than that."

Callie raised her eyebrows. "Are you her boyfriend?"

The man stared, and then suddenly laughed. "No, no, nothing like that. I'm Sam. I co-own the practice that Addison works at. I also happen to be Addison's best friend's ex-husband." Seeing her look, he continued, "We're okay now. We all get along. So where is Addison?"

This time, Callie laughed. "She's inside, passed out. We drank a little on the flight here and she's obviously more of a lightweight than she used to be."

Sam smiled, and then something seemed to click. "Ah. You're the woman she left town for without much notice."

"That's me."

Sam looked like he wanted to ask a question, but instead he just stood and looked out at the ocean.

"You're allowed to ask," Callie finally said.

"...I was just wondering what the emergency was. I mean, you look pretty put together for a family member dying or something, so..." Sam cleared his throat. "Unless that happened, in which case I'm so sorry."

Callie smirked when he stumbled over his words. "No one died. Not recently anyways... My wife and I are having problems and Addison thought I needed an escape. So here I am."

"Your wife?"

'_Shit._' She'd forgotten that not everyone was so open to the idea. "Sorry, uh-"

"I'm not judging you, Callie. I was simply curious because I myself understand the difference between relationship troubles, and marriage ones."

"Oh." Callie didn't know what else to say.

"Callie...listen. I was the one who left my wife, because I thought I wanted more. More what, I'm still not sure. But Naomi never understood why, especially since we already had a kid. I think you should know that almost every couple goes through their rocky moments. Addison has talked about you before, and she mentioned something about your wife leaving for Africa, and then getting in some kind of crash if I remember?" He waited for Callie to show him that he was on the right track.

"Yeah... That was her. And then she cheated on me," Callie answered. She had no clue why she was telling this man anything, but the way he spoke calmed her.

"That's what I thought. I'm just going to say this. I don't know you or your whole story, and I'm not telling you how to live your life, but... Not many people go through what your woman has been through, and still they manage to fuck up royally. You're hurt, of course. You should be. That's probably why you're here. So go do what Addison has planned for you, have fun, and in the end maybe you'll figure out that even through all of the mess in your marriage, you want to go back. See because I wanted to get out into the world, and now I'm spending my free time on a beach, wishing I could share it with Naomi. I just didn't get back in time." Sam fell silent, obviously done with his speech.

Callie clenched her jaw when her eyes watered at Sam's words, and collapsed into the nearest chair. "I'm exhausted. Not just from today. I feel like I haven't slept well in a year."

Sam grinned. "Sounds a lot like old age."

Callie wanted to rebuke that, but her own smile took over her face against her will. "Thank you, Sam. For...you know."

"No problem. If Addison wants to, maybe she could bring you around the office."

"I'd like that."

Sam turned around to walk back inside just as Addison came out, holding what must have been her cat Dr. Phil while looking for Callie. The cat was clawing at her arms in an attempt to get out of the tight hold Addison had on him.

"Hey!"

"You seem a lot more sober."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't make any jokes. You'll be this way in a few years." Addison sat down next to Callie. "Was that Sam I saw you talking to?"

"Yeah...he just saw me on your porch and we started talking." Callie didn't give any other information.

"I'll take you to the practice tomorrow, if you want to meet everyone else."

"Sure," Callie answered. If everyone was like Sam, then she was starting to love California.


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: **__Alright, here's the first of the Arizona-centric chapters! I was very distracted while writing parts of this as I am still on vacation and it's fairly short, so I'm not sure how I feel about it. __**Please review**__, I really want to know what you guys think about this chapter.  
I'm already part of the way through Callie's second chapter; hopefully that will be up soon.  
Also, I'm thinking of going back and editing the first few chapters now that I feel as if I've begun to write to a higher standard. What do you think?  
Give me any tips or advice you have:) _

_In other news, I made a twitter. yeah. If you want to check it out, __**fancy_phalanges**__ is my username for now. I'll probably follow you back and if you want to get in touch with me about this fic, I can message you on there :) _

_Thanks guys! _

* * *

"Hey, Arizona, I just wanted to let you know that I made it to LA okay. I know I'm calling a little late…I got distracted by the view. It's so beautiful here. I wish you could see it. Anyways, I have to go; Addison and I are going out for drinks tonight. I just… I want you to know that I love you, okay? … Don't read into that too much. Bye."

Arizona's heart sank as the message Callie left her ended. She wished she hadn't been in surgery so she would have been able to answer, but she also knew that Callie probably didn't want her to answer either way. Still, it was the only time she'd heard from her wife, and as much as she knew she didn't have the right to be worried, she thought that maybe Callie was trying to find a way to move on.

Arizona had been at the nurses' desk trying to fill out some last minute paperwork so that she didn't have to pile it all on to her interns, when she heard footsteps getting closer. As much as she knew she couldn't avoid the woman, she still groaned in annoyance when Lauren finally made an appearance. She'd _almost_ made it through the day without any mishaps, and obviously her luck was out.

"Hey." Lauren scooted in front of Arizona so she was cornered. "We still haven't talked, and I told you: I'm not leaving until we figure this out."

"Not now, please," Arizona sighed. She still had days to get up the guts to talk about it before Callie came home, and wasn't planning on doing it any sooner than necessary. "I was just about to go home." Sofia had been in the daycare all day and Arizona hadn't had the time to stop by and visit. Since Callie was gone, she felt terrible and was afraid that Sofia was getting lonely.

"Well," Lauren clicked her tongue, "I guess it's a good thing that I need you for a consult anyways. Dr. Hunt asked me to stick around for this one."

_Fuck. _Arizona knew that Karev wasn't on call, so there was no way to even pass it off without bothering anyone more than necessary. "Fine, give me 5 minutes."

"Nope, you're not getting away that easy." Lauren smiled, obviously either not feeling the tension that rolled off the other blonde, or ignoring it completely. "The kid's still getting some tests done so it'll be at least 10 minutes before he gets back to his room. Do you want to grab a coffee while we wait?"

"No thanks. I think I'll just start looking at his files, if you have them." Arizona didn't wait for an answer from Lauren to grab the chart from her hands. She wanted to get away, but didn't dare try an on call room since she knew Lauren would probably follow her in. The rumors would spread to her wife before they'd even get the chance to talk again. So instead, she turned down the next hallway and headed towards the empty waiting room, which was the only place that was currently scarce of gossiping nurses. She heard footsteps behind her and didn't even have to look back to know Lauren was right on her heels.

Arizona turned around in the middle of the room so suddenly that Lauren barely missed running into her. "Listen. It. Was. A. Mistake. You're a wonderful surgeon and maybe in another world you'd be a great friend, but I love my wife. More than anything, and I know she loves me too. What happened with you may have ended my marriage, but that doesn't mean I'm going to continue it. I've done a lot of messed up stuff to Calliope, and this was the worst by far. The time I left her for _Africa _doesn't even compare to this. So please... Stop. Don't stick around. I know what you're trying to do, and you don't get to fix me. When I lost my leg, you weren't here, she was. And maybe I can never give Calliope that kind of love and devotion in return. Even so, I'm never going to love anyone else as much as I love her. So whatever chance you thought you had with me…you don't." Arizona stopped when she ran out of air, and saw the beaten down way Lauren was looking at her. "I'm so sorry. But you knew what you were getting into."

"I did. That doesn't mean I don't still want you." Lauren seemed to only hear what she wanted to. "You're a beautiful woman Arizona, and you deserve better than Dr. Torres. You deserve better than someone who's willing to get knocked up by her best friend just because you needed time away."

Arizona saw red, and Lauren couldn't even flinch before she could feel a resounding slap against her cheek. "I don't know where you even heard that from, but _fuck you_, Lauren. You don't know anything about my family." She turned around to walk away.

Suddenly, she was spun around and shoved against the wall. Lauren's lips were on her own in a second, and Arizona froze. But when the taller woman tried to push her tongue between her lips, she finally came to her senses and ripped Lauren away from herself by her hair. "What-" Just as she started to yell at the other Peds surgeon, she heard a voice that made her blood run cold.

"Arizona?"

Before Arizona knew what was happening, Lauren had disappeared and she was standing alone facing one of the few people she'd ever been truly scared of. "God, please kill me now," Arizona muttered.

Carlos Torres took one look at the woman who was supposed to be his daughter's wife, and responded in a deep voice, "Excuse me?"

Arizona's cheeks turned bright red. "Shit… I mean… uh… Sorry, sir." Carlos had told her years ago that formalities were pointless for women who made "his Calliope" happy, but somehow she guessed that that rule no longer applied.

Carlos looked less than amused. He stepped forward menacingly and towered over the blonde without ever even touching her, but he could still see Arizona cowering under his gaze. "You have ten seconds to explain why that woman had her tongue down your throat before I do to you what I did to that O'Malley boy. You remember that, don't you?"

Of course she remembered. She had barely known Callie well enough for the whole "parent meeting" at the time, and it didn't help that just before she attempted to shake Mr. Torres' hand, she had to watch him shove George up against the wall and practically choke him out of consciousness. …And then he did the same thing to Mark. This time, Callie wasn't here to save anyone. She'd have to find a way to get out of this mess herself.

Nodding uncomfortably, Arizona got up the courage to speak. "Sir… Mr. Torres, I know why you're here. But what you saw right now isn't what it seems." She knew that no matter how mad Calliope was, she'd never bring her father into the situation, but she didn't question how he'd appeared so fast or how he'd even know if not for his daughter - she'd learned long ago to never underestimate the power of money and what it could do.

"I would not be here if I didn't think that my daughter needed protection. Now start talking, Mrs. Robbins, as you can see this is not a friendly visit. I have more important things to do than sit around and listen to another one of Calliope's 'lovers' try to explain themselves, but I'm going to do it anyways."

"I-I know." Arizona wished she didn't sound so nervous. "I'm just going to need more than ten seconds to explain what happened…Please?" The whole conversation had begun to make her leg hurt again, but she refused to show any more weakness than she already had.

Carlos seemed to think about the request, and finally gave in. He liked Arizona more than he'd ever liked Mark or George; he'd let her know that. She could be stronger than his own daughter, and that was hard to find in a person, let alone another woman. "Fine, Mrs. Robbins. I expect you to be at your apartment in thirty minutes. I will be inside and waiting." When Arizona nodded, not even bothering to ask how he could possibly get inside; he seemed satisfied enough and left her in her misery.

Arizona waited until she was sure he was gone, sunk down into one of the waiting room chairs, covered her head with her hands, and started to cry. She had no energy left, her leg throbbed like crazy, and she just wanted to get away. But she knew if she did that again, she'd never have a chance at Callie coming back.

Deciding to text Callie as a response to her earlier message- her wife knew her well enough to hear the difference in her voice if she called- she picked up her phone. She didn't want to tell Callie what happened, so she figured a basic message would be enough to get her to not worry. After deleting multiple attempts at a message that seemed too stiff, she finally settled.

**Hey, Calliope. Sorry for responding so late, I was in surgery. Have fun with Addison. Call me whenever you can. –A. **

A few minutes had passed before she heard the clearing of a throat above her. "Uh, boss?'

Alex stood awkwardly and waited for his mentor to look back at him. Arizona wiped her eyes and attempted to be her perky self again. "Hi, Karev!" Her voice was tight and she knew she wasn't fooling anyone.

"I just came to tell you that, uh, I'm taking care of Lauren's patient… the one she wanted a consult on. And I'll work with her on any other cases she needs help with until she gets the hell out of our hospital." Alex hated seeing Arizona like this, because she'd always been so strong before the crash and he knew it was mostly his fault that she was even there.

"Thank you, Alex." Arizona gave the younger man a true smile. He'd always been so caring even if he hated to show it.

"No problem, boss." He continued to stare at her.

Arizona sighed. "What else?" She _really _didn't want to talk about it yet, and thought he would ask.

"Uh. I need that chart."

Arizona looked down. "Oh," she said, embarrassed. She hadn't even realized she still had the chart she'd taken from Lauren earlier in her lap. "Here…Sorry."

Alex took the files and thanked her. Before he left, though, he looked at her with a mix of pity and sadness. "I know you don't want to be the one to tell him everything, but you have to. He'll figure it out anyways; he might as well hear it from you."

"…Thank you, Alex. I'll keep that in mind." Arizona teared up from Alex's words of wisdom. He was obviously trying to help in the only way he could.

"Don't mention it," Alex grumbled, and quickly found his way out of the waiting room.

Arizona checked her watch, and realized she now had less than twenty five minutes to get Sofia and make it back to her apartment. _Shit. _


	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N: _**_I wanted to post this tonight so I didn't have much time to edit thoroughly, I hope it's okay :D by the way, would you guys rather have them have more chapters apart to figure things out, or do you want me to still bring them back together soon? It would only be an extra 2 chapters apart maybe, but I know some of you really want some Calzona scenes so I'm leaving the decision up to you. :) _

_This is the longest chapter I've written so far. Ha. Yay. __**Review, please!**_

* * *

"Callie..."

"Give me a minute!" Callie had just finished putting on her makeup and was now sliding into her shoes.

"You said that an hour ago!" Addison wasn't actually angry, because she knew this night was for Callie; she was more worried that the other woman was starting to second guess going out to get smashed. "Oh, fuck it," Addison groaned and pushed open the door that led to the guest room that Callie had locked herself in over two hours ago. "Look, you need tonight so if you're thinking about backing out-" Addison cut herself off. "Oh my god. You look..." Her friend was standing at the mirror, pushing back a few stray stands of hair. Callie was wearing a tight, strapless red dress that cut off mid-thigh and accentuated every curve she had. Her black high heels were already strapped to her feet, adding an extra few inches. Her makeup was dark and made her brown eyes look smoldering, and her hair traveled in waves past her shoulder. "Shit. How am I supposed to get a man to dance with me when you're by my side? They're all gonna be too busy staring at you."

Callie smirked. She knew she looked good; she hadn't really bothered to dress up since Bailey's wedding and even then she'd stayed at least slightly conservative. Tonight, however, was about herself and she felt great. "Ready to go?"

"Hell no!" Addison looked at her incredulously. "I have to go change into something at least half as sexy as what you're wearing...and then I have to find a way to get some curves too because damn, woman."

Callie rolled her eyes. "You look amazing, Addy, and I really need some tequila. So let's go."

Xx

It was getting easier and easier to forget about the mess back in Seattle as time passed, so by the time both women arrived at the bar- a nice, but fairly underground kind of place that was only down the street from Addison's place- Callie was beginning to feel like she might actually have a fun time on her vacation.

When they made it inside, Addison made a beeline for two empty barstools and asked for two shots of tequila before Callie even blinked. The bartender winked and handed them their drinks before moving onto other customers.

"Ew." Addison shuddered. "Like either of us would ever go for that."

Callie laughed. "Be nice and he'll give us free drinks."

"I don't need free drinks from him." Addison huffed. "I can get them from other men. Ones who don't wink. Winking is creepy."

"Oh really?" Callie winked at her, trying not to smile.

"Stopppppp. No. It's weirding me out." Addison covered her eyes, and then looked through her fingers curiously. "So, I've been wondering."

"What?"

"Do you still like penis?"

Callie's mouth hung open. "Addy!"

"What?!" Addison didn't seem embarrassed at all by the question. "You haven't been with a guy since-"  
Silence fell over them.

Callie sighed after a minute. "Yeah, since Mark."

Both felt the tension that suddenly formed in the room; they'd each been close to them in their separate ways and they'd never truly gotten the chance to talk about him since the accident. It hadn't been the first time that Callie had missed him since she'd found out about Arizona's cheating, and she really wished he was around just to hold her when she cried about it. He was one of a few people she ever truly let in.

Addison, on the other hand, had been so busy recently that she felt as if she was forgetting him, and said as much to Callie. She felt terrible.

"You're not forgetting him. You're just trying to keep living. That's what he'd want us to do, right?" Callie responded. "I just think that maybe no one will ever understand me like he did. Arizona and I love each other, but we're two completely different people and sometimes I feel like I don't know her at all."

"You know her more than you think you do, Callie," Addison reassured her.

"I'm not so sure." Callie just sighed again and rested her head on the counter, so Addison didn't say anything more. They sat in silence- Addison only sipping on her next drink while Callie threw back some another shot.

Just then, a woman approached and tapped Callie on the shoulder. "Hey, beautiful. I was wondering if you wanted to dance?" She had deep green eyes, tanned skin and short brown hair; she was gorgeous, but Callie declined as politely as she could.

"That's okay. Is this seat taken?" the woman asked, pointing to the seat on the other side of Callie.

"Umm…" Callie looked at Addison for help, but she just shrugged and stared with wide eyes, obviously curious how this would play out. "No, not really…" She wasn't really offering the seat, but it truly _wasn't _taken and she wanted to be nice. Still, she had a sudden feeling that this woman wasn't going to just drink.

"Mystery woman" took the seat, adjusting her black dress as she did, and gazed at Callie. "So, ya got a name?" Her smile stretched across her face as if she was trying to get Callie to do the same back.

"Uh…Callie. Callie Torres. I'm not from here though," Callie added quickly, and then felt like slapping her forehead. _Way to go, Torres, she wasn't asking._

Her new acquaintance took it in stride, though, and attempted to continue the conversation. "Nice to meet you Callie." She winked. "I'm Audrey. Like Hepburn, except not that talented and not that pretty."

Callie smiled at the joke. "I think you're very pretty," she responded before she realized what she said and blushed. "Sorry…I lose my filter when I drink."

Audrey's smile got wider. "Thanks, honey. So you're not from here, huh? Vacationing in the city of celebrities?"

"No, um… Actually I'm here with…" Callie turned around to point at her best friend, but she was nowhere to be found. "Weird. Maybe she went to the bathroom." Just then, she saw Addison on the dance floor, dancing with a man she didn't know. _Go, Addy! _She cheered her friend on silently and then turned her attention back to Audrey. "She's dancing, but she'll be back. She'll find something wrong with that man in thirty minutes tops."

"I'll take that bet," Audrey joked, but she couldn't help frowning. She'd thought Callie was gay, but maybe if she was here with her straight best friend, she was getting mixed signals. She decided to test her theory. "Can I buy you a drink? Maybe something to slow you down?"

"Sure." Callie seemed happy at the offer, but still a little off as she'd been the whole conversation.

Aubrey called the bartender over and ordered them both something not too fruity but also not too strong. "Trust me, you'll like this. It's what I always get when I'm here to think. And you seem like you're really thinking." She reached out and gently touched the crease between Callie's eyebrows. Callie flinched but didn't pull away. "You're gonna get wrinkles if you don't stop that. And your kind of beauty shouldn't be messed with." Her smile reappeared.

Callie wasn't sure what to do. This woman was making her feel wanted, more than Arizona had in a long time, but she wasn't a cheater. Still, she couldn't help but want to forget about that for a few minutes. So she smiled back.

Their drinks came, and Callie took a hesitant sip, only to find that she loved it. The alcohol warmed her throat, but didn't burn like the shots she'd had before. It wasn't overwhelming, which was a nice change. "This is actually great," Callie told Audrey. "Thanks, by the way."

"Anything for you."

The two women made small talk for a couple of minutes as they continued to sip their drinks. Callie found that Audrey was actually really sweet, and felt some of the weight lift off her shoulders. Except every few seconds, her mind traveled back to Arizona.

Callie glanced at her phone that sat just next to where her hand was resting. It had lit up with a message, but she didn't want to be rude. _What if it's Arizona?  
_  
Audrey seemed to take the look the wrong way because she reached over and took Callie's hand in her own. The Latina's other hand was hidden, so she hadn't yet seen the wedding ring.

So, where are ya from, if not here?" Audrey asked. She felt Callie's hand tense up under hers, but she didn't pull away.

"I'm actually from Seattle. I've only got a few days off to visit my friend, but it was… uh, it was needed."

Audrey didn't miss the way Callie's face lit up at the mention of Seattle and then dropped when she'd added the last part. She didn't ask, however. It was none of her business, and she wasn't about to give up a chance on this drop dead gorgeous woman in front of her just yet. "Seattle is nice," she answered before realizing that Callie was no longer paying her any attention. The Latina's hand started tapping underneath hers, as if she was impatient, and she kept glancing at the counter. Audrey assumed she was looking at their hands. "Are you okay?" she asked soothingly, and started drawing circles on the dark skin with her thumb.

Callie jumped at the movement. "Yeah… Sorry, I just…" she mumbled distractedly. Suddenly she pulled her hand back and reached for her phone. "Hold on."

Audrey watched as Callie stared at her phone for over a minute. Her emotions showed on her face, and they were all over the place. "Um… Callie?"

"What?" Callie's head snapped up. "Oh. I'm sorry," she repeated and then put her phone back down, but not without one last glance at the screen.

It was that moment that Audrey noticed the ring on her finger for the first time. "Your wife? Or husband?" she asked, pointing at the phone.

Callie seemed shocked by the question, and then realized she'd grabbed her phone with both her hands and her left hand was now on the counter as well. She nodded sheepishly. "My wife. It's not what you think. It's kind of hard to explain… I'm not really sure if we're together or not."

"But you're still not interested in anyone else." It was more of a statement than a question.

"What? No. I mean…" Callie stumbled over her answer, and then dropped her shoulders in defeat. "I can't be with anyone else. I can't even… live with the idea of being with someone else, without feeling like I'm cheating on her. I can't allow myself to feel flattered that you asked a crazy, sad woman like me to dance and you still stuck around when I turned you down."

Audrey pursed her lips. "You're still in love with this woman?" She waited for the nod from Callie to continue. "Well, a little piece of advice, hon. You're not going to stop loving her, so stop trying to."

Callie looked at her as if asking her to continue.

"I was married too. My wife passed away five years ago. We'd been married since we were twenty, and was as in love as anyone could be. And sure I'm getting back on my feet, but I'll tell you this now: those feelings don't ever go away. I'll never get the chance to be with her again, but I'd take anything to get her back. Now, I don't know what this woman did to you for you to end up thousands of miles away from her, but I _do _know that you still have your chance to be happy. Because as far as I'm aware, there's only one person out there who'll make you feel the way you do."

"How did you know?" Callie asked. "That I still loved her, I mean." She was feeling overwhelmed by what Audrey had said.

"Your eyes. When you looked at me just now, you looked like I do when I'm alone in an empty house. I've seen it in the mirror, and I see it in you."

Callie didn't completely understand, but somehow she knew this woman was telling the truth. "I'm...really sorry for leading you on, Audrey. And thank you for being wonderful anyways."

Audrey just tipped her head in acknowledgement and finished off her drink. "Well, I'll be going now; looks like your friend is heading back over here." The redhead Callie had pointed out earlier was just turning away from her dance partner, looking slightly pissed. She picked up Callie's phone and added her number. Noticing the look Callie gave her, she laughed. "This isn't for booty calls, don't worry. It's just…if you need someone to talk to." Audrey leaned forward and kissed Callie's cheek in a friendly way. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Callie Torres." She left right as Addison reached the table.

"What was that?" Addison lifted her eyebrow. "Did you just get a date?" She wasn't sure whether to be happy for her friend, or worried.

"No…I got really great advice. I need two more shots," Callie mumbled. She was emotionally drained from the conversation with Audrey, and was back to her previous state of wanting to get smashed. She managed to drink both of the shots before her eyes started to water, and then proceeded to stare in front of her at the countertop for five minutes.

When too much time passed, Addison snapped her fingers in her face. "Callie?"

"I love her, Addison." Callie wiped her eyes and then shot up suddenly. The alcohol seemed to have hit her full force. "I have to...to call her. Where's my phone?" Callie dug haphazardly through her purse. "Where's my phone, Addy?" She started to panic.

Addison looked at her worriedly and picked up the phone from its placement on the counter- where it had been the whole time. "Callie...now might not be the best time to-"

"No. I have to call." Callie dialed Arizona's number, stood up, and walked outside. When she was far enough away from the noise of the bar, she leaned against a brick wall and waited.

The call went to voicemail.

'Heyyy… Arizona. I'm calling because, well...I'm lonely and I'm drunk and I'm pissed." Callie laughed degradingly. "You know…you leave, a lot; you fuck with my head and make me all crazy weird in love and I like it and then you do some dumb thing to ruin it... So I'm admitting that I fucked up too- when I told you I'd save your leg and I knew I couldn't make that promise but I did anyways because that was the only way to make you happy. I mean, you were in a plane crash! And I was just... Watching you and feeling helpless and hopeless but I didn't want you to feel that too. So I made a promise I couldn't keep and I'm sorry. The difference is, I did that out of love for you, and what do you do for me? You have sex with another woman. And I don't blame you Arizona, because that's who you are. You do stupid things. And I still love you anyways. That's how it always worked, right? I didn't really understand that until today, when someone…someone told me that my kind of love for you isn't going away. Sucks, right?"

Callie took a deep breath. "I remember what you told me when we barely knew each other; you called me a 'newborn.' And then you later said that you misjudge situations when you're scared. And I kept thinking to myself, _'what could you possibly be scared of, I'm the one who's lost a husband and a girlfriend and is the center of gossip for the nurses because of the innumerable times they've seen me cry into my drinks at Joe's. I should be the one who's scared._' And now... maybe I get it. Being in a relationship with me is so terrible that you run off to Africa and sleep with other women and leave me time and time again. And then you just... come back and you probably think, _'There's no one else I'd rather be with than Callie.'_ Well, guess what. Maybe you just misjudged _that_." Callie sobbed uncontrollably into her hand that covered her mouth to try to muffle the sound.

"Maybe you don't want me; maybe everything I am isn't good enough. I've never been enough for anyone to stay, why should this be different? So I don't hate you. I hate myself, for letting myself believe that I could be loved unconditionally by the most amazing woman I've ever met, forever. I love you Arizona. I've always taken you back in an instant, and I always will. Because that's what love is, for me. I'm thinking that maybe you don't feel that, you don't feel what I feel. I'm in so much pain from what you've done and I'm tired of you not knowing what you want. So just…tell me if what you want isn't me. Why else would you be doing this, right?"

Callie's hand shook so terribly that her phone dropped onto the ground, shattering the screen and ending the call. "Shit…" She picked it up, barely missing toppling over as her last drink hit her. She stared at her phone for a few seconds, and saw that her lockscreen, a picture of her, Arizona, and Sofia, was now covered with cracks. Their faces were barely visible. "Oh, fuck you." Callie took the device into her right hand, stepped back, turned around, and launched it at the wall. It landed at the base of the building, broken beyond repair.

"Callie..."

"I ruin everything I touch." Callie knew it was Addison calling her name even without turning around. She felt arms wrap around her but refused to open her eyes, knowing that it would just cause more tears to start falling.

"Oh, Cal. We can get you a new phone tomorrow." Addison responded unsurely. She knew Callie tended to get slightly unstable when her relationships fell apart, but this was on a whole new level. "Don't even worry about it." She patted Callie's back awkwardly when she let out another loud sob.

"I don't care about my phone... I'm talking about everything. The only thing I'm good at is fixing bones!" Callie pulled Addison closer and rested her head on the redhead's shoulder. "And I didn't even like bones anymore... not when I had Arizona."

"Are you kidding? You love bones! And you know what else you love?"

Callie shook her head, but it obviously caught her attention and she began to sober up enough to listen.

"Tissue and cartilage and anything that holds things together. Do you know why?"

Callie seemed to mumble something.

"I can't hear you."

"...I hold things together too," Callie answered with a sigh when she lifted her head up.

Addison smiled. "There's my girl. Let's go home. And then you can start that 'holding together' stuff when you're capable of walking in a straight line again." She glanced at Callie's face and grimaced. "And when you get that makeup off. It's just scary now. This is why you should always go waterproof."

By the time they reached the house, Callie's eyelids were drooping, but with the help of a mostly stable Addison, she got into bed almost no problems. "Thanks, Addy," Callie said before her friend could close the door all the way. Her face was still caked in runny makeup- Addison hadn't even attempted to fix that mess.

"You really are something, Callie Torres." Addison shook her head. She really hoped that her friend's luck would begin to change.


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N:**__ It's been a little while, and I'm sorry for that. It's been a little hectic considering school is about to start, but I promise I'm not giving up on this story yet :) In case you need a refresher: Arizona's POV left off when Callie's dad showed up at the hospital. Now, they're going to have a talk ;) _

_Also, just a warning: There will be one more chapter with Callie and Arizona separated. I know that wasn't planned, but when I got to the end of this chapter, I realized it was needed. It will be split between Callie and Arizona's POV, probably. Don't worry, though. Soon, they'll be back together again. _

_P.S. Shamelessly doing another shout out to my own twitter... __**fancy_phalanges. **__If you have any suggestions for this fic that you want to talk to me about privately instead of in a review, we can DM on there:)_

I probably don't even need to mention at this point that reviews are appreciated, but I will anyways. PLEASE review! It gives me a reason to keep writing. And a quick thanks to all of the people who reviewed the last chapter. I'm glad you guys liked it!

* * *

When Arizona finally made it back to her apartment, she found none other than Mr. Torres sitting in her living room, drinking a beer. "Um…Glad to see you made it here okay, sir."

"You're on time," Carlos noted with no emotion in his voice.

"Yes…yeah, Sofia was a little fussy at first, because she likes it better when Calliope gets her from daycare." Arizona didn't mention that that particular preference had started when she'd put up an emotional barrier between herself and everyone else- including Sofia-after the plane crash. Carlos didn't need any more ammo against her. "But we're okay now, aren't we?" Arizona's tone changed as she started speaking to her daughter, and she became less guarded for only a second.

Carlos cleared his throat, interrupting the moment. "Can I hold my granddaughter?"

"Um…actually I was going to put her down for the night so we can talk… She gets a little cranky when she sees Callie and I argue-" Arizona realized her slip-up, and stopped herself. "It's late, Mr. Torres. She needs her sleep."

"Nonsense. She was sleeping in daycare when I visited earlier."

Arizona froze. "You went up to the center?" She didn't mean to sound defensive, but the idea that maybe Carlos was looking to take her baby from her wouldn't get out of her head. She already knew his wife's opinion on children out of wedlock, and technically she'd never adopted Sofia. There were no legal documents. There was no paper trail tying her to her baby. She had less of a right to this baby than Carlos.

"I just wanted to see her, Arizona. Do not make me sound like a monster. I didn't come here to take Sofia." Carlos seemed amused, but not in a good way. "You assume the worst of me because you hurt my baby girl and I'm here to set you straight, is that right?"

"No, sir," Arizona answered. "I think you're an amazing father to Calliope for coming here." _Even if it means he's going to shove me against the wall like he did to George. _

Carlos nodded. He was mildly impressed with Arizona's bravery, if nothing else, but he wasn't about to say so. "Let me see Sofia, please. Her presence in this room will keep us calm as we talk."

"I'm not really sure how I feel about using my daughter as a barrier, Mr. Torres," Arizona stated.

"I'm leaving in the morning, Arizona. Please, stop fighting this. We have more important things to talk about." Carlos glared at his daughter's wife, as if daring her to say something else. The ice-cold stare made her give in, and Sofia just stared at her mom as she was placed in her grandfather's arms.

Arizona took this cue to sit down across from Carlos. Only then did she remember how much pain her prosthetic had been causing her from a whole day on her feet. Even though it had been months, she was still getting used to the contraption, and the phantom limb pain came back at different extremities; that was where Callie usually helped. She shifted uncomfortably. "Mr. Torres, I'm really sorry, but I need to…" she gestured to her leg.

Carlos looked shocked, as if he just remembered Arizona's accident. Callie had told him, of course; there was just more on his mind now. "Of course, go ahead."

"Thank you," Arizona sighed. She removed her prosthetic and began to massage her leg the way Callie had taught her. Callie, of course, was much better at it, but she didn't exactly have a choice. She looked up and saw Carlos playing with Sofia. He was bouncing her on his knees, and she was grinning and laughing. Arizona didn't want to ruin the moment, but knew it had to happen.

"Mr. Torres… what you saw today wasn't what you think. Lauren trying to kiss me was slightly expected, but I didn't think she would be so rough with me. As soon as I got the chance, I pushed her away. I know you don't want to believe me. But please… if we're going to talk about what's happened, you need to understand that I am not planning on continuing any kind of relationship with that woman, whether professional, friendly, of physical." She was surprised at how strong her voice sounded and even more surprised at what Carlos said next.

"I know, Arizona."

"You…you do?"

"Yes. I saw the way you handled the situation. Although it would never had happened in the first place if you hadn't led her on… I believe you. That's not why I'm here. I don't know you well, but I know you enough to be sure that what has happened between you and my daughter is not something you would simply do without reason, even if the only person who understands that reasoning is you."

Arizona felt relieved, but still on guard. "What exactly do you know about the past year?" she asked as she covered her leg with a blanket.

Both Sofia and Carlos looked over, Carlos taking a glance at Arizona's leg underneath the material that covered it. "I'd like to say I know it all, Mrs. Robbins. But, unfortunately, money cannot buy my knowledge of the secrets you and Calliope have kept. I do, however, know that my daughter saved your life," he pointed out matter-of-factly.

"She cut off my leg," Arizona corrected. "She saved me, _and cut off my leg._"

"And my understanding is that you'd prefer she'd just let you die on your hospital bed? I don't know much about medicine, but I do know that your infection was killing you. So, what, you wanted to die, and leave Calliope and this cute little baby here all by themselves?"

"No…it's not…. Okay, yeah. I wanted to die at first," Arizona admitted. "It was selfish and it was terrible but I wanted to die. I couldn't imagine living like this."

"I'm sure it was not in your wife's plan, either." Carlos looked at the blonde disdainfully. "In fact, I know it wasn't. When she was younger, I can assure you she didn't wish for an amputee for a wife. She wished for a prince. Now, I understand that it's more of a _princess _situation, but either way, you are not living up to her standard as much as you are not living up to your own. Your life isn't the only one that had to change."

Arizona felt as if she'd been slapped in the face. "You have no idea-"

Carlos held up a hand. "You shouldn't argue with me, young lady. Just listen. I chose to listen to you talk about Calliope once before when I couldn't accept her for who she is, and now _you_ will listen to _me_ talk about her. I'm not saying she loves you any less. You just need to realize that you're not the only one affected here."

He waited for Arizona to acknowledge what he said before he continued. "My daughter rarely did anything that the other girls her age did when she was in kindergarten. She spent a lot of time with books, even then. She only looked at the pictures, but she was still so much smarter than her friends- and maybe even her older sister." There was pride in Arizona's father-in-law's eyes, so even though Arizona didn't know where exactly Carlos was going with the story, she let him continue.

"But sometimes, she _did _do the things every child should. She had a doll. And she _loved _that doll, more than her own family." Carlos chuckled. "She'd bring it to dinner, hold its hand on walks, and sleep with it every night. My wife and I, we knew it couldn't end well. After all, dolls fall apart. They lose their stuffing, their stitches get ripped, and they get dirty. Kind of like people, I might add. Metaphorically, of course. Calliope, though, she didn't seem to realize or care. That doll was beyond her good years, and my little girl still loved it unconditionally.

"And then, one day Calliope came home from school crying because her doll's arm had fallen off. I'd never seen her so devastated. My wife just wanted to throw the thing away, and they got in a pretty big fight over it. And Lucia…she always thinks she's right. I thought for sure Calliope would give up. After all, Aria used to throw away her own toys after only a few weeks. But do you know what she did? She asked me if I had any glue."

Arizona had started shaking at that point. "Mr. Torres…"

"She went into my office, which, mind you, I never allowed my children to do, found the super glue, and worked on that doll like nobody's business to make it perfect again. She'd managed to glue all of her fingers together by the end, _and _she made a "cast" for her doll out of her school gym shirt. Lucia was beyond angry. But…I was so proud. _That's _the daughter I raised, Arizona. She's been… fixing things for years before she even thought about becoming a surgeon. I can't even imagine how hard it was on her that she wasn't able to fix you. But she _saved _you. You would have died_. _You would never have seen your adorable daughter or your beautiful wife again. And you wouldn't have even been able to say goodbye.

"Do you remember how you felt when Callie was in that terrible accident? When she was on the OR table I'm assuming you've operated on innumerable times? You watched her die slowly, and you couldn't do anything about it. Now, tell me that's not the worst feeling in the world."

"It…it was," Arizona responded.

"See, but it isn't. I can give you something worse than that- when you have to actually make the choices that could either save or kill your loved one. Having to go against her wishes and cut off a limb, or keep your promise and let her slip between your fingers instead. What kind of choice is that? Have you even truly thought what you would have done in that situation?"

"I would have done anything to keep her alive," Arizona admitted, and then froze when she realized what she'd just said. "…Anything."

Carlos stared at his daughter-in-law, and realized that she had finally gotten it. It had taken a year, but she finally understood what it would be like to be on the other side. To be in Callie's place. That's all he really wanted. And he knew that his job was done, but he couldn't, for some reason, get up the guts to just leave the woman as she was.

He made up his mind, and picked up Sofia before walking over to Arizona, who refused to look up. "I'm going to put your daughter down. I think I've gotten enough time with her tonight, and she's half asleep."

Sofia leaned into the kiss that Arizona placed on her forehead, as if she knew it wasn't a moment to pull away. "Momma," she murmured, already half asleep.

"I love you, Sofia." Arizona tried to say something else, but her breath got caught in her throat.

Carlos took the hint, and went into Sofia's room to set her down in her crib. When he came out a few minutes later, Arizona was in the exact same spot as he left her. She looked tiny- smaller than he'd ever seen her before. She had always so strong, and he could see the toll that everything had taken on her.

The older man took a seat beside her, and sighed. "Arizona. You have insight beyond your years, but when it comes to yourself… You're more stubborn than a mule. Why is that?"

"I…I don't know, sir."

"You would have been worse off keeping your leg even if the infection had been controlled, is that right?"

Arizona nodded.

"So then you _do _understand that your wife gave you the best possible way of life after what happened?" Carlos frowned.

"Yes, sir, I did… I mean, I do, but it's my _leg. _She promised to save it. And then she cut it off." Arizona was getting angry again, even though she knew she had no right to be. Except she wasn't angry at Callie. She was angry at herself, because she knew that, deep down, all of this mess didn't revolve around her leg. It revolved around what had happened after.

"Was she responsible for the crash, Arizona?"

"No…"

"Was she responsible for that infection? Is it her fault that it was practically impossible to fix?"

"…No." Arizona sighed.

"Would you rather be dead than be with her?" Carlos continued the rapid fire of questions.

"Of course not! I love her with…everything I have."

"And so you slept with another woman…to prove your love?" Carlos growled.

Arizona snapped. "You weren't here to see the way everyone looked at me, Mr. Torres. _Everyone _stared at me- pitied me- when they thought I wasn't looking. But I could feel it. I could almost _hear _every thought anyone had about me. And Callie was the same. She was…loving, and caring, and great to me even when I refused to look her in the eye. Do you know _why _I didn't look at her? Because I would have seen the same freaking pity in her eyes that I've seen from everyone else. And I didn't want my wife, out of all people, to pity me.

"When she got the chicken pox, which seems like forever ago, I pretended that I'd never had the pox so that I didn't have to see her like that. Our relationship had been so new, and I just… I didn't want to pop that bubble. That new, beautiful, happy bubble." Arizona smiled sadly. "And…and then everything else happened. Africa happened, the car accident happened, the baby happened. So I assumed that our bubble had long been popped. That there was nothing that could happen to us after that, that we couldn't take on together, because she was…she _is_ my _wife._

"And then the plane crash happened, Callie lost Mark, and I lost my leg. I was so focused on the idea that I'd never get to play with Sofia at the park the way I'd planned, that I didn't even think for a second that Callie was thinking the same thing about Mark. And for a _moment, _I even thought, 'Now he can't get in the way of my relationship with Callie!' And I _hate _myself for that. Every single day. It was a passing thought, but now I can't get it out of my head. I'm a terrible person for thinking that, and now I just feel… like I deserved to have my leg cut off. Like I deserve to experience a little bit less out of life just because for one weak moment I was so selfish to believe that life would be better without Mark.

"And so…Callie would try to get me to talk to her, and I wanted to be angry at her about my leg, I _still _want to be angry with her, but I just feel guilt for putting Callie through this, for thinking these terrible thoughts, for being a horrible wife. All I felt was guilt and depression, for months. So I refused to look at her, because I know that I would have just seen pity in her eyes. I didn't want pity for something I deserved. And as for Callie? I thought she could do better than me. When she saw me trying and failing to be the person I used to be…. I know _that's _when our bubble had really popped.

"At first, it was great. We got better. We both felt guilty and we both tried to hide it, and it worked that way. Eventually…we kind of just pushed it all to the back of our minds, and we became _us _again. And it took a while, but… we had sex again," Arizona shot an apologetic smile to Carlos, who looked uncomfortable. "It was what it's always been, but at the same time, it wasn't. Because I still hated to make any kind of eye contact. I thought was for the best. If I didn't see Calliope's pain… I could pretend as if nothing had ever happened.

"Then, Lauren came along. I didn't plan to sleep with her. It wasn't like that. Except, she just…wanted me. She knew enough about me to like me, but not enough to feel like she had to walk on thin ice when I was around. It was…refreshing. I think Calliope knew, even before it happened. Do you know what made me lose control? It wasn't Lauren. It was the way Callie looked at me, the moment she felt for the first time in a while that she was losing me. I'd tried to avoid it, but when I saw her beautiful brown eyes…it just hit me like a brick. And I couldn't do it, Mr. Torres. I couldn't live with seeing Callie like that. She's so beautiful…and when she's sad, it's like the whole world is falling down around you. You feel like you must be the worst person in that world to cause that. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about."

Carlos could relate to that well. More times than he wished to admit, Callie's tears had been his fault. That didn't mean he wanted to hear what was about to come next.

"Every thought I'd pushed away… every sliver of self-doubt I had that I wasn't the person I want to be… it all came back at once. Lauren was my escape from… not just Callie, but Mark, and Alex, and everyone. At first she really was just a friend to me, but that night... I wasn't thinking, Mr. Torres. Your daughter is the most wonderful person I've ever met. Not only is she breathtaking, but she's level-headed, and strong, and powerful, and… she was happy. I love her. And now I'm losing her because I was too fucking guilty to love her right.

"The worst part about this, is… my escape? I regretted it not a second after. Because I actually made her _care _about me when what I wanted from her was the exact opposite. It was all for nothing, and it's left me right back where I was one year ago, except without my wife still by my side." Arizona finally took a deep breath, and realized how long she was ranting. She looked over to Carlos for a response. The man just stared. "Please… Mr. Torres, I need help. I don't deserve it from you…but I need it," she begged. "I just want Calliope back, and it might be too late."

Carlos stood up. "Arizona, what you've done is far worse than what George, or even Erica, did. And I will probably never forgive you for the many ways you've hurt my daughter. You need to grow up. Being around all those kids has obviously taken a toll on you. You are a successful, married woman, and you still run from your problems. It's cowardly. You do not deserve Calliope on your best days."

Arizona let out a shuddering breath as she felt her heart hurt at her father-in-law's words. She'd worked so hard for acceptance, and she'd ruined that too.

"That being said…" Carlos took a deep breath. "You are different. You are better. So as my last act of kindness to you, only because you managed to get me back into my Calliope's life… I'm going to do for you, what you will never be able to do for yourself. I'm going to let Calliope know the truth. What she does with it is up to her."

Arizona was confused. "How…"

Carlos laughed. "Never underestimate me, Arizona Robbins." He proceeded to pull a tape recorder out of his shirt pocket.

"What…" Arizona was at a loss. "Wait! No. You can't-"

"It will arrive to her before she leaves Los Angeles. And by the way, you couldn't be more wrong. Callie doesn't pity you, she loves you. You should have been able to understand the difference. Goodbye, Arizona." With that, he went into Sofia's room, placed a kiss on his granddaughter's forehead, and left the apartment, leaving Arizona to wonder what the hell had just happened.

After the shock wore off, Arizona began to get ready for bed, exhausted after her unexpectedly long day, when she realized she hadn't checked her phone in hours. She'd been so busy getting Sofia and then talking to Carlos, that it slipped her mind. The blonde checked quickly, and noticed she'd missed a call from Callie, but there was also a voicemail. _I wonder what it's about… _

Arizona listened intently, trying desperately to understand Callie's slurred words. It took a moment, but she finally realized what her wife was saying. "Oh, Calliope," Arizona breathed. She could practically hear her wife's broken heart through her words, and knew she needed to call her back to tell her about the recording. There were things on there she never wanted to admit. But five rings later, the call hit voicemail. Then again. And again. "God…where _are_ you?" Arizona muttered to the still ringing phone. Memories of the plane crash and a forest without phone signal started drifting back. She knew it was ridiculous, but she still couldn't help thinking the worst.

_"Please leave a message at the tone." _

"Callie…I just need to tell me you're okay. Tell me you're safe. Please. Then you can ignore me all you want, just…tell me you're okay."


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N:**__ I know, I know. It's been so long. And I'm not going to waste your time with excuses, but I do want you to know before you read this chapter that a lot of thought went into what happens, and what is going to happen. I mean, for weeks, I was so stuck trying to write this. And then a certain friend gave me her insight, and it totally opened new doors for where this story could go. _

_I actually like this chapter, so enjoy. And please review, as always. It truly does mean a lot to me. _

_-K._

_P.S. I know that technically, it's "Addie" and not "Addy" but I've always hated the 'ie' spelling of that nickname. So just go with it._

_P.P.S. Please don't kill me. You'll know what I'm talking about once you get to that part. I promise you that I know what I'm doing. _

* * *

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"_Are_ you?

"Yes! Stop asking, Addy!"

"I'm just looking out for you, Callie," Addison responded with a huff, continuing to focus on the road in front of her. They were on their way back to the redhead's house after spending the day at the practice, which Callie had loved, but if she was being honest, she definitely missed the hustle and bustle of a large city hospital. That alone had put the Latina on edge.

She still felt bad for snapping, however, and frowned. "I'm sorry, I know. I'm just..." she groaned. "I can't contact Arizona, because of _course _she had to switch from Verizon to AT&T last week, and I don't remember her new number or have my phone to get it from. And god forbid that woman checks her email more than twice a month." The brunette groaned. "So, yeah, I'm sure that I need to go back tomorrow. She's going to think something happened to me when I don't pick up after that voicemail from last night."

"If she was really that worried, she would call me," Addison muttered under her breath, before she saw Callie's face drop and realize what that had sounded like. "Shit, no. I didn't mean it like that, Cal. She just…she probably wants to give you space."

"After that drunken message I left her?" Callie looked at her best friend incredulously. The morning after "the incident" as they'd begun calling it, Callie hadn't remembered much, but- whether fortunately or unfortunately, depending on whom you asked- Addison had remembered enough.

"It wasn't _that _bad..." Addison blew off Callie's worry. "Seriously, I don't understand you. You basically told her that you were done. But now you… want to go back?" She tilted her head.

Callie pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's not… I don't know. It's not that simple, I guess."

Addison breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that Callie had yet to make any concrete decisions. But Callie saw the reaction, as hidden as it was meant to be, and chose not to keep her friend in the dark.

"But… I'm still going to leave her. I just have to do it in person, you know?" Her heart tugged in her chest just thinking of it, but she refused to let any more tears fall; she'd done enough damage to herself, and Arizona had, too. As much as it was going to hurt, she felt almost at peace with what she was going to do. So instead of letting Addison worry any more, she quickly changed the subject to a lighter tone. "I also need my phone to be fixed; I normally can't live without the damn thing and of course the Apple store here doesn't have any available appointments for weeks! How do you manage to live this way?"

Callie's attempt to steer away from talking about Arizona didn't go unnoticed, but Addison chose to let it go; she knew if Callie wanted to talk about it, she would. So instead, she played along for the time being, licking her lips dramatically and responding, "Well… L.A. has its perks. Like, the hot men."

Her joke caused Callie to grimace. "Stopppp."

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be bisexual? Stop acting like a lesbian. You promised we'd still get to talk about guys when you first started dating Erica," Addison whined, causing Callie to let out a laugh. "And anyway, just because you were unwilling to get it on with that girl at the bar doesn't mean that we're all celibate around here," Addison joked, knowing that Callie was in a good enough mood to not take that statement too personally.

Callie just grinned. "She would have realized soon enough that I'm damaged goods anyways."

Despite the attempted lightness of the moment, Addison couldn't help but let out a sigh. "No, Cal… You're not damaged goods, okay?" Callie just rolled her eyes, uncomfortable with the backtrack in conversation, which made the redhead glare at her. "Seriously. I had hoped you and Arizona could fix what you had, because it really was beautiful, but even if you can't, or won't... You're a catch. If anything, you've been aging backwards; I mean, look at us, I'm all wrinkly and old and you're, well… not wrinkly, and only a little bit old." Addison laughed at herself. "One day, we're gonna old and senile and in a nursing home, and you'll still be getting all the bitches while I look on from my wheelchair with drool coming from my mouth… You don't _need _anybody, because no one is good enough for you," she added quietly.

"Addy…"

"No, listen." Addison was suddenly frustrated. She had just pulled into the driveway, so she took the opportunity to put the car in park and then lock the doors before Callie could get out, who shot her a look as if asking if she was crazy. "Stop…just…stop doing what you're doing. I've watched you repeatedly beat yourself down for what's not your fault. And not only that, but you refuse to take compliments, and you try to act like you're not the strongest person I've met in my decades of life. But you are. And you know it. So, stop being shitty towards yourself, Callie, because that's your problem. No one's going to take you seriously, if you keep getting down on yourself. They're going to take advantage of you. Look at George, and Erica, and Arizona, and even Mark, as much as I hate to say it. At some point, they've _all _taken advantage of the love you give. Maybe not on purpose, for some of them, but god damn, Callie, do you know how much it sucks to watch you put yourself down? So don't 'Addy' me next time I'm trying to be a good friend." Addison sucked in a deep breath, watching Callie's unreadable face. She hadn't meant to rant, but once she was finished, she was glad she had. It was something that Callie needed to hear.

"…I was just going to say that I'd be glad to live in the same nursing home as you, but only if it's in Seattle, because it gets too hot down here," Callie awkwardly stated, not sure of what to do about Addison's sudden outburst. Luckily, the other woman didn't seem to be angry, and instead just turned a dark shade of red, mumbling something before getting out of the car.

Callie followed suit. "What did you say?" she yelled up the driveway.

Addison had already unlocked the door and was halfway through the entryway. "I said, 'No fuckin way.' Old ladies and rainy, slippery cities don't mix well. You should know this, 'Orthopedic Surgeon'," Addison mocked.

"Hey, I won't be just any old lady! I'm badass Callie Torres!" Callie defended with a smile on her face. Still, as she followed her friend inside the house, she began to think about what Addison had said to her. She had never been more grateful for having a friend like her.

Xx

"I'm gonna miss you, Cal," Addison admitted as she embraced her closest friend. "Are you sure you want to take a taxi? Those guys are kinda sketchy sometimes," she whispered, glancing towards her Bentley that sat idly in her driveway and then shifting her gaze to the peeling paint of the yellow taxi that had just pulled up.

"It's _fine,_ Addy," Callie replied exhaustedly, but with a slight smile on her face. "I don't want you to have to go out of your way just to take me to the airport. The drive back would be a mess."

Addison gave in. "Okay, if you say so." The pair stood in silence for a few moments, until Addison began fidgeting. "Hey… I love you, Callie. And watching you get hurt is…" she cleared her throat. "Just, take care of yourself." They hadn't talked any more about Callie's plan, but they were both aware that things were going to be different soon.

Callie teared up at Addison's words, and squeezed the lighter skinned hand tightly. "I'm trying," she spoke softly. "Thank you for caring about me," she added, as if it were a big deal.

And Addison guessed that, while it wasn't for some people, it was for Callie, who had been through some unimaginable things with no one by her side. "You don't need to thank me for that. You're worth caring about." Addison stepped in for another embrace and kissed Callie on the cheek. "Now go! You never know how bad security's gonna be," she laughed, which seemed to get the Latina moving.

Once Callie had gotten into the taxi with her one bag and carryon, she rolled down the window before pulling out of the driveway. "I'll see you soon, Addison!" she waved as the car slowly began its trip down the street. Callie tried to pretend like she knew what she was doing, but when Addison's house finally disappeared behind her, she sunk down in her seat with a sigh. As much as she'd like to forget reality, she knew she had to go back, and now was as good a time as ever. She just hoped that she'd figure out something to say to her wife to get her to understand her choice, by the time the plane hit the dampened ground of Seattle that evening.

Xx

Addison had been lying on the couch since Callie had left, just thinking about Arizona and Callie, and wondering where they'd gone wrong. She'd looked up to them more and more every day; every man she ever met, she hoped would be "the Arizona to her Callie." And now… if their relationship couldn't survive, then definitely had no hope. Callie had refused to speak any more about it, and it worried Addison that she hadn't thought it through as much as she thought she did. She understood why Callie had made the decision, and if she were 100% biased towards her friend, she would agree. But Addison had the feeling that there was something about Arizona that no one understood. She just didn't know how to get it out of that stubborn woman, and it wasn't like she could warn her about the oncoming breakup to get the truth out of her, even if she actually _had _her phone number.

Addison was still trying to devise a plan when the doorbell rang. She groaned, not wanting to get up from the comfortable position, but did so anyways, only to find that no one was there. Instead, a package stood in place of a person. It was small, just a regular brown cardboard box, with no return address.

It looked like nothing exciting, and she couldn't remember having ordered anything off the internet recently- for the first time in a long time- so she almost threw the box on the table to open later. But curiosity got the best of her and she quickly made her way through the house to the kitchen to grab a knife. Once the packaging tape was cut off, Addison pulled out a little object wrapped haphazardly in tissue paper, as if the person who had packaged it was in a hurry. She gasped when she realized what it was: a state of the art pocket tape recorder. The only person she'd known to have something like that was one of the doctors she'd worked with from the hospital, and they'd been using it for a clinical trial. So she had no clue why anyone would want _her_ to have one of them.

Addison made a decision without even really having to think, and pressed play. "_You're on time," _the voices began.

It took a few seconds, but she heard a female voice reply. It sounded familiar, but she couldn't place it. She almost shut off the recording, thinking that the package was a mistake, but something held her back from doing so. A moment later, a word stuck out. "_Sofia." _

Addison gasped when she realized what she was listening to. It was Callie's dad and Arizona. From the beginnings of the conversation, she assumed that the recording had been taken after Callie had left. Carlos's voice was hard, as if he was trying not to snap, which was the first hint. And Arizona sounded as if she had been trying not to cry.

As much as Addison despised the woman currently, she couldn't help but feel bad for her- Carlos was a scary man, at least on the few occasions she'd met him and from what Callie had told her.

Addison wanted to sit there and listen to the entire recording play out, but she knew Callie was about to get on a plane in LAX and never come back, and whoever had sent the tape recorder obviously knew that Callie had been staying with her, but didn't expect the former to leave town early. Even without hearing the conversation from beginning to end, she knew it was something that could potentially change Callie's decision. Which meant that it was her job to get to her best friend before her flight took off in less than an hour.

Addison picked up her phone, and dialed Callie's number, only to remember that her phone had never been replaced after the incident.

_Shit, time for Plan B. _


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N:**__ You guys are going to hate me for 3 reasons. _  
_1. It's been forever since I last updated. _  
_2. This chapter is ridiculously short. _  
_3. It also sucks. _

_And I'm really sorry for all of those. Writer's block has been a bitch, and I'm honestly glad I even managed to get this done at all. Hopefully the next chapter will be better, though. I'm really trying to stick with this story. Don't ever think I gave up on it, unless I tell you specifically that's the case._

_I probably won't update before the premiere, so just in case, remember to be #CalzonaStrong. And try not to use up all the tissues in your house. _

_My twitter username is __**Fancy_Phalanges,**__ if any of you are anxious to see me rant about the upcoming season. ;) _

_-K. _

* * *

Callie tapped her foot anxiously, waiting at the terminal for her plane to arrive. To her dismay, it had been delayed almost half an hour. Callie wasn't in the mood to wait. She needed to get to Arizona, to get her out of her head before she combusted from all the thinking she didn't want to be doing.

On the ride to the airport, she'd convinced herself that the best way to go into the situation was head on, no planning or hoping that somehow Arizona would say something that would change her decision. She hated hope. It always let her down.

But now, as she sat in the uncomfortable rubber chair next to her gate, she started to doubt herself. Maybe she needed a plan. Arizona was a Type-A woman. She didn't just "let things happen." She would ask questions, she would make sure Callie knew what she was doing, and...  
"No," Callie muttered to herself, and leaned her head against her palm that rested on the arm of the chair. Arizona wasn't that person anymore, she needed to remember that. If she was, she wouldn't have slept with the first woman who laid eyes on her who hadn't cut off her leg.

And Callie didn't blame her for that, not really. If she'd been in that crash, she would have started to live her life like that too. Like there were no limits to the things she could do, like thinking through things was too much of a waste of her time when she could be truly living.

But she wouldn't do what Arizona had done, not in a million years. Her wife would be the only thing she needed as a constant while she moved so suddenly and quickly through time as if it were running out. Her wife would be the one to slow her down and say, "Stop. Everything will still be waiting for you when you're ready."

And Callie had tried to be that to Arizona, she tried to let her know that life would still be waiting despite there being things that would slow her down in unfortunate ways. But all that had done was let Arizona sit around and mope, and that's not what Callie had wanted, so yeah, she pushed. But it wasn't too much. Or it shouldn't have been. Yet obviously Arizona couldn't deal with the pressure.

It was something Callie had expected all along; Arizona had bailed on her quite a few times in the past. There was no reason why she should have felt so safe with the way they were, even if it WAS months after the plane crash, and years since Arizona had left her the last time.

Callie sighed, and tapped her fingers on the arm of her chair. Yeah, she would just wing it. She was tired of thinking already.

"Calling all passengers for flight 210 to Seattle," a voice shook her out of her thoughts.

_Time to go…_Callie stood up and drifted towards the forming line. Just as she was about to hand her ticket over, however, a voice behind her yelled out her name.

"Cal!"

Callie turned around in confusion, only to see Addison in her face, barely holding herself up as she breathed heavily. "God damn it, Torres, I hate you. I haven't had to run this fast since high school gym."

"Uhm." Callie glanced around, and noticed every single passenger that was behind her glaring at both of them, so she swiftly pulled the panting redhead out of the line and allowed the man behind her to continue with an apologetic smile. Then she turned her glare to Addison. "What are you doing here?"

"I had…to stop you…from going back to…Seattle." Addison inhaled and then coughed dramatically.

"Why? I told you why I had to go back, Addy, I appreciate you trying to help but,"

"Callie-"

"No, listen. You've been an amazing friend, but I need to do this. I need to stop letting everyone walk all over me, like you said. I need to stand up for myself. I can't be in a marriage with a woman who cheated because I _can't _pretend things are okay after a few months of awkward interaction. Trust me, I've tried. I just-"

"_Callie." _Addison took her best friend by the shoulders and shook her, only then capturing her attention. Callie stared at Addison with wide eyes, but didn't continue her rant.

"I have something that might change your mind."

"What?"

"Just…come on."

Xx

"Is it a letter from Arizona?"

"No."

"Are you trying to set me up with someone?" Callie continued questioning as Addison walked into her living room. Callie had canceled her flight for something she didn't even really know about, so she hoped it was a good decision.

Addison threw her hands up. "What? _No. _That doesn't even make any sense. I said it would change your mind."

"Sorry, I'm running out of ideas here. Is it…a letter from Sandra Bullock?"

"Why the hell would it be a letter from Sandra Bullock?"

"Because she's hot." Callie grinned.

"Okay, no. She's like… fifty, or something."

"Aren't you 'like…fifty or something'?"

"Shut _up_." Addison then picked up a small object and placed it into Callie's palm.

"What is-"

"I am no longer in the mood for your questions, Calliope. Listen to the thingy and then meet me outside."

Callie looked down once again at the tape recorder in her hand. "Okay."

Xx

Many minutes and two glasses of wine later, Addison was still slowly sipping the liquid and watching the people at the beach when she heard a bang, followed by her best friend yelling an expletive as the footsteps got closer. She could barely hold in her laughter when she saw Callie hop out onto the patio with her right foot in her hand and her eyebrows scrunched together. "What the hell did you do?"

"I forgot there was a screen door…" Callie answered, and Addison almost lost it until she noticed the look in Callie's eyes. The younger woman took a seat next to Addison, and groaned.

"So I'm assuming you listened to it." Addison tried not to let her curiousity get in the way, but she hadn't heard the entire thing and she really wanted to know if there was anything worth caring about for Callie.

"Yup." Callie nodded, but didn't say anything else. She was staring out into the ocean the way Addison had been moments before.

Addison wrapped an arm around her friend, letting her lean into her embrace. She pushed back all the questions in her head to ask her the most difficult one. "Does it change anything?"

Callie seemed to think about it for a few seconds, but Addison knew she was just sorting her thoughts- if it did change anything, Callie would already know.

"It…yeah, it does," Callie finally answered, and Addison let out a breath of relief that caused Callie to glance at her.

"Sorry," she laughed. "I'm really _not _trying to mess with your love life, but it's so easy to do it when I don't have a decent boyfriend myself."

Callie grinned despite herself. "Well, I'm glad you did. I just… I still don't know if it changes enough."

"Well, what does it change?" Addison nudged Callie's shoulder in an attempt to get her to continue.

"I don't feel guilty anymore," Callie concluded. "Arizona blames it on herself, Addy. She blames everything that happened on herself, _not _on me. And that's just...all the weight that's been on my shoulders since the plane crash has been lifted off, because that was all I cared about. That I did the one thing I could to keep her with me and she resented me for it. But now I know that she just…had this moment of 'selfishness' and she couldn't live with herself after that, and I feel terrible that she thinks that, because trust me, I've had selfish thoughts more times than I could count. And half of me wants to go back to Seattle and give her the biggest hug because I finally understand. But…" Callie dropped her head into her hands.

"You're not sure if that's enough," Addison finished. It wasn't a question.

"Exactly! Why should it be enough? I'm- I'm angry. She let me blame myself. She apparently felt terrible for hurting me, but she _still let me blame myself._ Who does that?" Callie ranted.

"Arizona does, apparently," Addison replied, pushing her wine glass into Callie's hands. The other woman gulped it down in a few seconds, and then proceeded to continue with her one sided argument.

"And the idea that my dad has been watching me this entire time and _he _was the one that managed to get her to talk… What the _hell _is that? He can't meddle with my marriage! And she opened up to _him, _of all the people in this world." Callie grabbed the wine bottle that sat on the table and drank straight from it, not even bothering to pour it into the glass in her hands. "They're going to give me a heart attack, I swear."

Addison frowned, and took both glass objects from Callie, setting them on a table. "Stop ranting."

"What?" Callie opened her mouth to continue.

"No. Stop. Ranting. This isn't getting you anywhere, Cal, you're just getting yourself worked up for nothing. You need to decide what you want to do. Stop trying to figure out who to be angry at. Hell, be angry at me if you need to be angry at _someone, _but you need a clear head. Now is the time to let it all go, and think with your brain, not your heart." Addison was rarely ever that serious, but it was necessary to get through to her best friend.

"…Okay," Callie relented, looking slightly embarrassed. "I just…"

"I know." Addison grabbed her hand. "You have all the control now, Callie. Do what you need to do."

Xx

It was a day later than it should have been when Callie arrived at apartment 502, her hands shaking but her mind finally in the right place. She knocked on the door, not wanting to intrude.

"Who is it?" A voice called out from the other side, almost causing Callie's heart to stop.

"It's…it's Callie," she answered just loud enough for her wife to hear.

There was a moment's pause before Arizona opened the door, looking like a mess in an extra-large white t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Yet, she was beautiful, and that was the first and only thing Callie thought. "Is Sofia here?" she asked quietly, in case the girl was down for a nap.

"No, um…" Arizona bit her lip. "She's actually at the Shepherd's for a play date with Zola and their baby boy." She didn't add that they'd only asked if she needed them to take Sofia off of her hands when she'd had a breakdown at work the previous day.

"Okay." Callie stepped in the doorway, causing Arizona to step further back until they were both far enough in the apartment for Callie to shut the door behind them.

"So…" Arizona awkwardly muttered when Callie turned back towards her. "If you want me to leave, so you can get some rest, I'll do that, I guess-"

"No," Callie spoke back.

Arizona tilted her head. "Well, do you want to talk?"

"No."

"Then what-"

Before Arizona could finish her sentence, Callie had pushed her up against the door and pressed their lips together. Arizona stood in shock, but Callie made no move to pull away despite the lack of movement coming from the blonde that she had pinned.

When Callie finally pulled away to breathe, however, Arizona took the chance to speak. "Callie…"

"Shut up." Callie pulled her in closer, and slid her hands up Arizona's sides under the shirt. The gentle caresses of her skin didn't match the way her lips ran over Arizona's partly exposed neck, but she didn't seem to care. It was when she tried to pull Arizona's shirt over her head, however, that her hands were gently pushed away and she froze before growling. All of the insecurities she had about Arizona came rushing back. "Okay, what?"

Arizona's eyes were glassy. "What are you doing, Callie? I don't understand."

"I'm forgiving you."

With those words, Arizona's grip on Callie's hands loosened, unconsciously allowing Callie to do as she pleased. She couldn't help the feeling in the pit of her stomach that what they were doing was wrong, but she didn't want to stop Callie, in fear that it would make her leave again. "Okay."


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N:**__ Hey guys, this is obviously not another update, but I do need your opinion. _

_I wasn't so happy with the last chapter, and from the lack of response so far, I believe it might be the same for you. Honestly, I rushed it, simply because I was afraid that the interest in this story would dwindle if I stayed away for too long. But I think it might be effecting my work. So, if you wish, I can rewrite the last chapter to be more satisfying. It's all up to you. Shoot me a message or a review with your opinion. I'll take them all (as long as they are nice) into consideration, of course. _

_-K. _


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